Saturday, April 12, 2014

Dissecting 15 Wedding Trends of 2014

Hype Events
April has arrived! In season weddings have officially begun! And, well, so have the "new trends" that will be plastering the pages of Bride Magazine for the rest of the year. Coming off the heels of fun Santa filled Christmas themed weddings, unavoidably cheesy Valentine's Day weddings, and the best reason to get drunk at St. Patrick's Day weddings, spring and summer wedding trends have hit the books - and have thrown up all over Pinterest.

I never really understood how "wedding trends" really worked. A large number of people spend 18 months planning a wedding. So, in reality you will have your wedding planned before the "newest trend" comes around. This has me personally peeved because the theme I chose back in December of 2013 of a "woodsy/woodland" theme is now being touted as a hot 2014 theme - which will probably make my October 2015 wedding look like something everyone has seen before. Oh well, I love it and will do it anyway!

Anyway, without further ado, here is my take on 2014 wedding trends.

1.) Crop Top Wedding Dresses: Huh? I had no idea we were in a flashback to a 90's episode of Blossom where it was cute to wear a crop top with suspenders and stove pipe Pluggs. Unless you are a stick like Keira Knightly and have no boobs, you will just look like your top is too short or you forgot the middle part of your dress.

2.) Pastels: You know those nasty Easter colored mints that used to be served at weddings along side a big tub of peanuts? Yes, those. The colors of those chalky squares are now "hot" wedding colors for bridesmaids dresses. This is a fact: your pale, short, slightly out of shape bridesmaids will look like washed out extras from Twilight in a pastel dress. Pastels on adult women can read so childlike and Eastery - couple that with a cutsie style and all they will need are Halloween fairy wings made out of glittery panty hose to complete the look.

3.) Woodland/Fairy/Lord of the Rings Themes: Maybe the baby pastels with wings will work if you are doing this up and coming theme. Facing backlash from the "rustic burlap bride" craze, these same brides who want a perfect blend of casual and elegant without drifting into rodeo hoedown territory are going this route (me included). However, for whatever reason there are dozens of Pinterest pins that feature weddings that look like Aragorn is marrying Arwyn in the Shire complete with elves, gnomes, and toadstools with barefoot bridesmaids waving streamer wands. IT IS A WEDDING, NOT A COSTUME PARTY, DAMMIT!

Green Wedding Shoes
4.) HUGE Ridiculous Bouquets & Flower Arrangements: On average a bride will spend $1,800 on flowers. JUST FLOWERS! But now it seems as if that price could skyrocket with the humungous flower trend of 2014. Brides want massive arrangements to take over their tables - so much so they forget guests cannot see over all that crap while they eat. Plus, they want to carry a massive, cascading spread as well or are opting for paper/fake blooms that look like they came straight out of Alice in Wonderland. At this point, why not just go to Lowe's and buy a 2 gallon potted mum to carry or a giant stuffed animal from a carnival?

5.) Unplugged or Super-Plugged Ceremonies: Oh, but wait, let me take a selfie! God. I agree with a large number of brides who are asking/demanding that guests put their two-foot long Galaxy away for 20 minutes while you say your nuptials. Nothing is more ridiculous than when you get your professional photos back that you payed a good chunk of change on only to see everyone with a stupid phone in their hand as you walk down the aisle. Then there are those other brides. The ones who create a Facebook page, Twitter, personalized hashtag, Instagram, website, etc. just for their wedding and encourage people to snap away and otherwise be totally self absorbed in their phones all night.

6.) Bright and Weirdly Paired Color Combinations: Sometimes I have to ask myself if a bride stopped at a taco truck at the state fair and suddenly had an epiphany that she needs ALL THOSE COLORS at her wedding. I am talking about John Deere green, royal blue, fire engine red, and sunflower yellow - all at the same time. Okay, we get it, it is the 4th of July. But, your colors should not remind us of a package of Franks or a baseball game. Unless you have a lot of white/ivory in your wedding you run the risk of it looking like a box of Legos with all those primary colors. I myself love, LOVE color but keeping it in moderation/adjusting the hue of the colors will work best for a wedding.   

Zazzle
7.) Small & Simple Invitations: This is actually a good thing. I think not only brides but people in general realized that an elaborate, expensive, multi-folding masterpiece of stationary is a total waste of money given that the second after they are opened, they end up in the garbage. Not to mention you wasted a whole tree on printing out tiny maps that are too small to read, a picture of the couple that everyone has seen already on Facebook, and an RSVP that the guest will ultimately not put their name on so you have no idea who returned it to you. Less is more, when and where is sufficient, and anything supplementary you can put on your wedding website. Ditch the RSVP cards all together and save on postage - guests can call or e-mail you instead.

8.) "Naked Cakes" and Odd Fillings: As far as my mother, grandmother, and future in-laws are concerned there are two kinds of wedding cake flavors: vanilla and chocolate. While it is nothing new that brides also like to pick from red velvet, almond, and lemon, icingless cakes and questionable fillings are rearing their ugly heads. "I am having a coconut cake with sangria flavored jelly filling and key lime icing"...What? The more specific you get with your cake the less likely people are going to eat it. Keep this in mind when you are plunking down $4.00 a slice and if you care or not if it ends up in the trash after one bite. Also, people LOVE BUTTER CREAM ICING - do not rob your guests on the real reason they came to the wedding (okay, maybe not, but people do love cake AND icing).

9:) Blinged out Necklaces, Bracelets, and Belts: Us brides love our bling. We just do! But the new 2014 trend is for a bride to be in a simple, notice I said simple dress and have a huge, sparkling statement necklace and bracelet. This can go so bad so fast. I can see it now - a bride will pair one of this hideously and cheaply made rhinestone bibs with an already blinged out ball gown. She will look like a TLC Gypsy bride or a belly dancer - especially if she wears one of those aforementioned crop-top dresses. MODERATION LADIES, MODERATION!

Bridal Guide
10.) Edible Wedding Favors: HALLELUJAH! Brides finally got the hint that no one wants another silly shot glass with their wedding date etched on it! This holds true for personalized drink cozies, mini picture frames, single card holders, or other chotski that will end up at Goodwill or in the garbage. The only favor anyone will appreciate is one they can eat - 'nuff said. Cookies, chocolate, honey, BBQ sauce, salsa, etc. will be taken, used, consumed, enjoyed and probably remembered. They will not remember the cheapy pen that never worked from the second they picked it up from the guest book table.

11.) Elaborate Photo Booths: Photo booths became a trend several years ago and despite the fact that a lot of brides seem to think they are overdone, guests LOVE THEM! A photo booth is great for many reasons. People do not attend weddings often, so they likely have never seen one at a wedding before. People love to take photos, and they get to take a strip with them as a favor. You as a bride also get a copy to keep for yourself because every bride wants a picture of great-aunt Ethel in a disco afro (don't we all?). People get bored at weddings and not everyone dances, so this gives them something to do. And now, booths are getting more elaborate than ever with trunks of props, body length shots, they are BIG enough to get 15 people in one image, you can make movies in some of the new models, etc. Budget permitting, I am having one at my wedding - I know you will be jealous.

12.) Having Swanky Servers for BBQ: Now this is something I do not understand at all. Not only do brides want ushers (like your immature male cousins and geeky brother) to be in tuxedos like her fiance and groomsmen, but they are also expected to wear white gloves to shuffle people to their seats. Same for buffet meals featuring gussied up servers. I am sorry, but I thought buffet meant you got off your rear and got your food yourself? Oh no. Such savagery. Now, brides want to make their cheap BBQ more elegant by having white-glove wearing servers at each aluminum pan to gracefully slop pulled pork onto a plastic plate. Now that screams elegance. If you think having a self-serve buffet is too "steerage class of the Titanic" JUST HAVE A FLIPPING PLATED MEAL FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!

New York Mag
13.) Brides on a Budget: I guess it took a more than a few episodes of Four Weddings to get brides to realize that the $10K wedding always wins when put up against the $80K wedding. Brides are finally understanding that they do not need to drain their parents bank account (or their own for that matter) to have a nice wedding! More brides are taking up DIY projects, chopping the guest list, eliminating appetizers, hosting cash bars, and hoarding half off coupons for Hobby Lobby and Micheal's, anything to save a buck! I am a vintage dealer - I take no shame in digging a salvageable chair out of your trashcan. So, I am not ashamed to brag I am getting my flowers from an online wholesaler, my dress was pre-owned, and I am not spending any more than $14.00 a plate for food per guest. It seems that many 2014 brides feel the same as I do. Besides, when you boast to people about your wedding costing more than a house you automatically come across as a massive snob and people will say your wedding sucks if it does not meet the expectations of a Kardashian. 

14.) Old Hollywood Themes: This seems to contradict the idea that brides are trying to save money...Another trend still going strong from last year is the "Old Hollywood", "Roaring Twenties", or "Great Gatsby" theme. Everything is gold, everything is crystallized, candles are everywhere, people have ostrich feathers in their hair, birdcage veils, rhinestones, glitter, and pearls. I am all about a girl embracing her theme, but all this decor going on is going to make your wedding look like a caravan belonging to a traveling fortune teller. Furthermore, all this elaborate decor, an "era specific dress", historic get-away car, an olde-tyme pianist named Sam playing "As Time Goes By", and other period touches are not cheap to buy or rent. And again, it is SO EASY to drift so far into masquerade party territory that it no longer resembles a wedding. Also, I would like to take a poll in regards to how many 20-something brides have actually read the Great Gatsby...

15.) All Nighter or All Weekend Long Weddings: Now this is just plain ridiculous and unnecessary. Some couples are using their wedding as a means to start a party on Friday night, and make it last until Sunday morning. In short, it gives guests the green light to start drinking heavily at the rehearsal dinner, drink all through the wedding, then party until dawn on Sunday. Not only will this probably create some embarrassing moments at your wedding courtesy of your Uncle Bob and half the groomsmen, but if they get really out of hand you might need to call security, a cab or other "collection service", or even the police or hospital if guests get too out of hand. Don't make the elders attending your wedding feel like they suddenly entered a frat party or a rave or abruptly have to leave because your bridesmaids start booty-popping on a table. Be respectful of your guests and keep it classy. If people are still in party mode, arrange an after party somewhere else and they can hire their own cab to take them back to their respective hotels.

Keep in mind this is all in good fun and congratulations to all the 2014 brides! What is your take on some of this years "hot trends"?

Friday, April 11, 2014

State & City Park Weddings - The Good, Bad, & The Ugly Regarding Rules

The Blanton House
After painstakingly going through list after list of venues located in Indiana, I was really concerned we would not find something that would "fit us." We looked at several barn venues first. But, there were so many issues with one barn venue or another that we decided to abandon that option pretty quickly. I wrote all about our adventures with barns in this blog post. I literally went through all the venue lists on The Knot, Wedding Wire, and Rustic Bride trying to find a venue that was suitable, affordable, and available. I even found this obscure website that listed all the state and city parks (I cannot even find it now but it looked like it was made in Windows 95).

Whatever we eventually came up with, I was dead set on NOT using a country club; locally most people use one of the country clubs because there really is no other option. So, we started exploring city and state parks. My fiance and I are outdoorsy people to the core. We hike and geocache almost every weekend in the summer so it makes sense for us to have an outdoor woodsy wedding.

Angel Canary Photography
The first place I thought of was Mounds State Park. My fiance and I spend many weekends here in the summer since it is only about 10 minutes from my house. This park is also where we had several of our first dates when we first started seeing each other. Mounds offers a very small building you can rent that I knew from the beginning would not be big enough.

However, when I was searching online I found this picture of a tent (pictured right) erected in the yard adjacent to the party building. This photographer's blog has dozens of pictures from this couple's wedding that took place in Mounds Park. This picture and many others show they were able to use the historic home on site to get ready, the use of the enclosed party building, and they were also able to rent a tent and chairs. I thought this would be SO PERFECT! This was until we called Mounds...

It took a few calls before we got a hold of someone who could give us the skinny on having a wedding at the park. Apparently, the couple who got married at the park (where all the lovely pictures came from) were given the "celebrity treatment" because at the time, they WORKED THERE. The girl we spoke to was snippy on the phone when we told her we found pictures online of a tent and chairs and use of the historic home, and we wondered if that was part of their wedding package. You could tell by the tone of the person we spoke to that other people had seen the photographers pictures online and called the park thinking they would be able to rent the same amenities too.

Olry Photography
At Mounds, there is no such thing as a "wedding package" and the girl on the phone wanted to know where these photos were found (as if she could force them to be removed from the internet). At Mounds, you CANNOT have a tent erected anywhere, you CANNOT have a company truck bring in chairs for outside, you CANNOT have any access whatsoever to the historic building or even the nature center to get ready in (so there is NO place to get ready), and you CANNOT prepay for cars to come in to park (everyone without a state park pass has to pay $5 or $7 to get in).

Basically, everything featured in these photos was a major no-no and no "real person" could ever do the same at the park. We were told we could bring in chairs in a pickup truck or "personal van" but we could not have something like a local rental company come and bring them in inside their box truck...How ridiculous! However, when we started to call other parks they too had some really, and I mean REALLY bizarre rules and regulations.

Here is a list of some of the problems we ran into:

Flush the Fashion
NO Alcohol or weird alcohol rules.

Probably half of the parks we contacted did not allow alcohol, but you have to basically call each place individually to get the rundown on alcohol. Some allowed beer, but no hard liquor. Some allowed you to have beer in cans, but absolutely no glass bottles. Some said we could have beer, but we would have to PUT TAPE ON EVERY SINGLE CAN so no one "could tell from a distance" that it was beer (this was a specific rule at Mounds Park)...Some allowed alcohol but we had to use a bartender of their choice.

Some allowed alcohol but as long as we had a permit on file (you have to BUY THIS from the state) we could use whatever licensed bartender we wanted. At the venue we chose, they are allowing us to use whatever bartender we want and we can have them serve beer, wine, and hard liquor but we will have to use ALL plastic drinking vessels. MOST PARKS do NOT allow you to use real glass glasses for drinking because if they break, kids can step on them and get hurt.

MAOG Meet Up
NO candles, sparklers, bonfires, BBQ smokers, etc.

Most people know parks have signs EVERYWHERE that prohibit the starting of a fire outside a designated fireplace or ring/pit. This same rule applies for a wedding. HOWEVER, some of the parks do not even allow you to start a bonfire if you are having a wedding on site. Why? They are afraid someone will start it then leave it unattended. One of the parks I looked at said if you are hosting an event that has more than 30 people, you have to get someone from the fire department or the head of the boy scout camp to come and supervise whatever fire you have for the entire duration of your party. Some parks only allow bonfires at designated campsites or community fire pit as well.

Unfortunately, people are irresponsible - plain and simple - especially if they have been drinking. Keep in mind as well that you cannot use candles that light with a flame or sparklers/fireworks for the same reason. Many of the venues we looked at do not allow candles PERIOD even if you are renting an enclosed building. Some parks go even further and will not allow you to have a BBQ smoker on site for catering.

Dpnak
NO throwing or releasing of anything.

At the venue we chose the manager was very specific about what we could "throw" and what we could not. For one, if we are using flower petals in the yard they must be 100% real. This means no polyester fake petals AND NO "biodegradable" paper either. The biodegradable petals do not disintegrate, plan and simple. They just become trash that the birds can eat and it can kill them. You also cannot throw rice anymore either - it will kill birds because if they eat it, it will expand and explode their stomachs.

Some venues said no sprinkles either - it causes ants and bees to invade. Most places will also not allow you to use glitter, any kind of confetti, silly string, or anything that will become "waste". Most places will allow you to use bubbles or birdseed however. You can also release butterflies in most parks but some are specific about doves so you will have to ask. Oh, In speaking of "throwing", most city and state parks have pack out policies. Any trash you bring in must be taken with you in trash bags you provide when you leave. So all those bags full of paper plates and half eaten burgers will have to go home with you after the wedding!

Middle of the Map Weddings
How and when you rent and reserve.

Most of these park venues do NOT allow you to rent them in advance. Much like a park-run campground, you have to either call or in some situations you must PHYSICALLY GO TO THE PARK to reserve an enclosed building or a pavilion. We had an RV when I was a kid and I remember getting up at the crack of dawn on a Wednesday or Thursday before school to go to a park to reserve a campsite for the weekend. Weddings are no different.

Some of the places we looked into tell you that you must wait one year to the day to either call or come to the park to SEE IF THEY ARE AVAILABLE. There is ZERO guarantee! Some of the parks also let it slip that they give special permission to city workers, donors, friends of park employees, boy scouts, schools, etc. So, basically if you want a very popular or specific weekend for your wedding, you probably will not get it.

Other parks will only allow you to come the DAY OF your event or the day before to reserve a pavilion or gazebo. If this is the case, you will need a family member, day of coordinator, or a groomsman - someone to hightail it to the park very early to reserve it. It is also NOT FREE to reserve a pavilion at some parks. This can be a catch 22 type situation because of how this is handled. Say for example you are getting married over Memorial Day weekend and you want use of a specific pavilion for the reception. Other park guests might come and be at the park early to set up their BBQ/family reunion at a pavilion without reserving it. So, you might be at the gate paying your rental fee like you are supposed to and when you get to "your" pavilion, there might already be a party in progress.

We actually saw this happen in Brown County this past October. We were hiking and heard a HUGE spat going down. A horse drawn carriage and about 30 cars arrived at a pavilion located next to the water. An older man (probably the bride's father) was screaming and waving their park permit at a Hispanic family that was holding a full blown Quinceanera with over 50 guests. We watched the spectacle for about 15 minutes and no one from the park came to help. It was obvious neither family was going to budge...

DNR Illinois
Lack of security, supervision, or other issues.

Never forget that parks are public spaces. Just because it is obvious someone is holding a wedding in a particular area of a park does not mean people will not sneak in or possibly cause a problem. The DNR are not your personal security! In fact, if you are having more than 100 people in attendance, it might be a good idea to hire an off duty police officer to watch over the party - in particular the gifts. It seems like every day you hear about cards and gifts getting stolen at weddings. It would be very easy for someone to slip in and out of a busy park unnoticed with your card box in their backpack.

You also have to take into account that other activities might be taking place at the park during your wedding. We go to parks all the time. Every now and then a marathon will take place and you cannot find a parking space in the whole park. It could be Boy Scout day and 200 ten-year-olds might be running around. The SWAT team might be doing diving training in the creek and they will be screaming (some are obscene) as they recover "bodies" from the water. People can also accidentally stumble upon your wedding - then proceed to walk through it because they do not know where the tail head is located. I must admit we did this on accident at the IMA when we visited their garden center on what was apparently also prom day. There were so many young ladies in fancy dresses with eager parents snapping photos we were trying to stay out of their way when we accidentally walked directly behind an officiant conducting a wedding...oops!  

Robert & Kathleen Photography
Limitations on tents and decorations.

Some of the parks we looked at stated under no circumstances could anyone use crepe paper streamers or balloons as decorations. These two items can blow or float away easily so that is understandable. One park said you could not use shepherd hooks that go into the ground. Many do not allow you to attach anything to the pavilions with tape, nails, or staples and instead you have to use twine. Many parks simply do not allow any "attached" decor at all (centerpieces are usually just fine).

Ultimately these rules are in place because people make a mess and certain things can really harm animals. Like I said before, most parks do not even have trash cans anymore because they have adopted a "pack out" policy. My fiance and I always take a trash bag with us when we hike because we volunteer to pack out whatever anyone else was too lazy to take with them to throw away themselves.

Many parks will not allow you to use tents either. Like I said before in regards to Mounds, if the tent has to be staked into the ground, most will not allow it. Keep in mind any large tent (like you use for a wedding) will need to be staked into the ground for stability. Some allow small popup style tents like caterers use. However, aside from the venue we chose that provides a tent, all the other parks we looked at had a strict "no tent policy" or a tent placement rule where they had to be in a certain spot. LIGHTING is another issue! Parks are NOT OPEN at night! Because of this, they are not illuminated. While some parks will allow you to stay until the late evening, make sure you have lights available and the electricity to use them. Most parks will allow you to use Christmas or cafe lights in pavilions since they can be easily draped and subsequently removed, but make sure you ask the park and have ample outlets!

Elizabeth Ann Designs
Music is another issue. Some parks do not care if you have a DJ - some will not allow you to have one at all. Strict sound ordinances are enforced by most parks in regards to how loud the music is across the board. Parks are peaceful places, and you must think not everyone will enjoy you blasting dance music in the early afternoon.

You have to keep in mind as well a park pavilion might not have any electricity (or appropriate number of plug ins) for a DJ to hook anything into. While some parks will allow you to have an string quartet or a band, again the rules and sound decibel limit will vary from park to park. Usually if the park allows music, you typically have to have it off by 10:00 or 11:00 PM. Never forget when you have a wedding at a park, it is not your private domain! Be respectful of park guests, any other bride that might be holding a wedding at the same time, and take care not to harm or damage the plants and animals.

MAJOR perks to having a park wedding:

Aside from some funky rules, ultimately parks really are great places to hold weddings. For one, you really do not need any decor - let the woods, water, and nature be your canvas. There is plenty of parking and usually they have handicapped accessible bathrooms. Parks are also very casual so you do not get that stuffy, hoity vibe you sometimes get from country clubs. If you think your guests will get bored, they can hike a trail, bring their fishing equipment, or snap some nature photos. Parks are also SUPER kid friendly! They have amazing playground equipment to keep them entertained or you can send them across the way to play kickball or tag. If you do not mind your guests sitting at picnic tables, seating will not be a problem so you do not have to rent anything extra for that.

Persimmon Images
Most parks are also very cheap to rent - that goes for pavilions and enclosed buildings. And if you need an event permit they are usually less than $100 depending on where you have your wedding (the park we chose does not require an extra event permit). There is also a major perk if the park has an eatery where they can cater your meal so you will not even have to deal with finding an outside caterer. If the park has cabins or camping, your guests can book one and make a weekend getaway out of the wedding, or your grandparents might want to bring their RV for the whole week and take a nice stroll down to your wedding. Your photos will be AMAZING! You will probably not have a waitstaff hovering around you the whole wedding and the whole thing can be very much about family.

Ultimately, we chose a park venue for the outdoor capabilities. I wanted that "in the middle of the woods" feel but with modern amenities like a tent in case it rained, ample lighting and electricity, modern bathrooms, a kitchen for the caterer, and formal tables and chairs. Our venue was more pricy due to them having all those amenities but I feel it will be totally worth it. On a side note, I cannot wait until May to revisit our venue so I can give a glowing review!