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| Young House Love |
My fiance and I have been together for a long time, so it is not like I have not looked up wedding stuff before. His parents knew of the proposal before my mom because my fiance had showed them the ring he bought me. As soon as we came out and made the "announcement" they wanted to know the date. Yes, right then and there (I mean after 6 1/2 years we should know right?).
I wanted to get married 10 months later. I made this statement as very matter of fact that I wanted to get married on October 11, 2014. My fiance said that would be "fine" and basically left the planning in my hands. My mother, my fiance's friends & family, and everyone who would be coming seemed to be on board with this. So, into full-on bridezilla mode I went.
I needed to find a venue yesterday, not today. I sent out a flood of e-mails literally the day after we got engaged asking about availability only to be shut down at every turn. Everything was booked - everything. And not just October either - everything to the end of the year was taken (barns and rustic outdoor venues). I had a meltdown. We were able to develop a theme, find a caterer, and the person who would be doing my dress - but no venue.
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| Regal Tent Productions |
Another issue that was brought into question was how to handle the elders who were mobility impaired. Basically, if we did not have the wedding - ceremony and reception - at grandma's, they would not be able to come at all. My fiances' grandmothers both need to have nurses and attendants 24/7 and one of my grandmothers is almost totally immobile. So we thought, this will be perfect! The venue would be free and the grandmothers would not be inconvenienced....In about three weeks time this all went down the drain.
We did not realize how many obstacles we would run into with having a wedding at "home".
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| Destination Weddings |
We did find a local renter who could rent us a 40X80 tent for $1000. We actually called three rental places and only one was renting tents that had roll up sides. We thought that price was quite reasonable and there was plenty of room at grandma's for this. We also calculated the size of her back yard and figured we could get 40 cars to park in the grass and maybe 20 more along the road. Perfect!
We planned on having an outside ceremony and an indoor/outdoor reception by using the tent. BUT we had to prepare for the worst case scenario that it could be cold and be pouring down rain. If this were to happen, everyone would need to be inside the tent and have it enclosed.
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| Apples & Onions |
However, one day it suddenly hit me - lighting. Oh my gosh lighting. Now, my fiance and future father in law are the handiest people I know. They can electrify and plumb anything anywhere. However, I realized that if we have an October wedding, it will get dark at about 6:00.
This meant that we would not only need lights in the parking area, but lights in the tent. The rental company did not rent lights - and I had only bought enough Christmas lights after the holiday season to use in the trees for the outdoor ceremony. The lights pictured above are called commercial grade cafe lights. They are used for outdoor weddings and inside barns because they are weatherproof.
You CANNOT plug these in end-to-end. So you must have outlet access where ever you plan on using them. To get enough lights for the fence around the parking area, the tent, and promenade to the tent it would cost $1000-$1200.
The tent we would be renting did not have the clear plastic windows, so if it were cold or rainy and needed to be enclosed, the inside would have to be illuminated. Plus, my father in law would have to put in an electrical box running from the house to the creek on grandma's property to plug things in.
In addition: Most places where you rent tents will SPECIFICALLY tell you that you cannot use real candles inside their tents! This is quite common. So, if you thought of illuminating your tables with a zillion candles, you might be out of luck if you are renting a tent.
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| Internachi |
Bathrooms were the next hurdle. Grandma's house has three bathrooms - however one would be for exclusive use of myself, the bridesmaids, and the groom and groomsmen since it is located inside a bedroom. The second bathroom is only a half bath, and the third is handicapped accessible but it is in the middle of the house. While this would be great for the elders - having 130 people using basically one bathroom is not feasible on a septic tank.
It would also cause an unacceptable line to the bathroom after dinner, and it would clog up the hallway leading to the kitchen that would be in full use by the caterer. We called Hoosier Portables about renting a Luxury Bathroom because port-o-pots would not work (not handicapped accessible and no running water). This would set us back an additional $1500 FOR ONE DAY.
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| The Pfister |
The dance floor was another problem. The place that rented the tent would rent us a dance floor for an additional $100 I think. It was not very big - I am thinking it was 10X10 or 20X20. We busted out some graph paper and started drawing things in to figure out where we could place the dance floor and it became apparent that it would be a really tight fit.
We had difficulties figuring out how to plan for a center aisle in case we had to hold the ceremony indoors due to rain. A promenade to the tent was another issue. If it happened to be really muddy or rainy, we did not want people slipping and sinking into the mud walking from their cars to the tent. However, we did plan to make a "boardwalk" out of pallet wood.
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| Decoration0 |
We would also have to rent tables and chairs. Our local True Value Hardware was the cheapest renter we found. Chairs were $1 each for a Friday night drop off and Sunday morning pick up. Tables were I think $5 each, and their delivery fee was $35 since the store is so close to grandma's house. When it was all said and done it would be about $500 JUST TO RENT TABLES AND CHAIRS.
Not only was this becoming a bit ridiculous with the budget, but then - they could not guarantee delivery until after 5:00 pm on Friday. This would not give us enough time to place the chairs outside for the ceremony and cover with tarps to be ready for Saturday, and it also meant we would have to do all the chair and table decorations on Saturday morning.
DO NOT forget you will be having a rehearsal and dinner on the Friday night before your wedding! I totally forgot about this and the fact that my fiance and 6 groomsmen would be busy on Friday afternoon getting their final fittings at Men's Warehouse in Indianapolis and they would not be available to help.
DO NOT underestimate the amount of time it will take you the morning of your wedding to set up the tables and tablescape! Remember that linens cannot be left out overnight because they will get dewy. Linens will also have to be pressed. If you are lighting the undersides of your tables, you will have to manage electrical and put on table skirts which can be tricky. If you can (if you are decorating yourself) do a dry run at home on a card table to time just how long it will take you to set up.
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| Catering Kitchen |
My fiances' grandmothers home was built to entertain. This was a major plus for us. We could rope off the back of the house and have the caterer make a seamless transition from her kitchen to the garage where buffet tables would be set up.
The only problem with this is that it severely limited the use of one of the bathrooms. We did contemplate using her back patio as an area for the buffet. But, the tents the caterers use only cover the tables - they are NOT big enough to cover a large area. So, in other words we would have to rent a secondary tent for the food area if it were on the patio. This is why we settled on the garage.
However, there is a considerable distance between the garage/patio to where the tent would be placed. If it were raining, we would be forced to set up additional tables inside the main tent for chafing dishes which would take up a considerable amount of space.
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| Second Chances by Susan |
Another thing that would take up a huge amount of space inside the tent would be tables for gifts and cards, the cake, snacks, A BAR, drink station, guest book, and TRASH. If the weather were inclement, everything would need to be in the main tent. We could have set up gifts and the cake inside the main house - but of course if it were raining and muddy we would not want guests tacking mud all over grandma's house. She would have a fit if that happened.
We figured we could do a guest book at the door, use one corner for buffet and snacks, one corner for bar and drinks, one corner for cake and gifts and cards, and one corner for a DJ or music station.
Then I thought - oh my - one end of the tent would need to be used for a head table and two flanking tables for the groomsmen/bridesmaids and their spouses, and the parents. That only leaves two free corners inside the tent since a dance floor will be in the middle. This would be OK if we put gifts and cards in one corner, and we could put all buffet, drinks, snacks, and bar in another corner, but then that left ZERO room for a DJ. So, we would have to rent yet another tent to house either the food or the gifts and cake because there would not be enough room.
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| Pre-Owned Wedding Dresses |
We had it in our minds that we would be saving gobs of cash by having the wedding at grandma's house as well. I mean think about it - free land, free main house, free creek side ceremony! But things added up SO QUICKLY that it became a ridiculous idea to even try and have it in her backyard. Then when I thought about it some more, I thought "I bet most brides would run into the same problems we did when planning a backyard wedding".
Here is a breakdown for comparison:
One Tent - $1000
Additional Tent(s) - $500
Bathroom - $1500
Lighting - $1200
Dance Floor - $100
Tables & Chairs - $500
Total: - $4800
This does not even begin to include a caterer, DJ, decorations, cake, snacks, drinks, bar, dress, and all the other expenses that come with a wedding! For $4800, most people can find an amazing venue that already has bathrooms, chairs, and tables included in the price for much less than $4800.
It was when I brought this to my fiance's attention that we knew we could not use grandma's house for the wedding and we would not be getting married this year. Luckily, we did not tell anyone about our plan on having a wedding in 2014 so no plane tickets or reservations were made. By bumping the date to October 2015, this gives us plenty of time to find a venue that is in our budget and relax!
And don't worry! We did not forget about the grandmothers! Understanding that they would not be able to travel to wherever we decided to have the wedding, we did decide to hold a "grandmother ceremony" at her house. We will get a small cake and a photographer and I can wear my dress for them to see in the fall of 2014. Having a 10 person ceremony at grandma's house is totally acceptable and do-able, a 150 person party is not.
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