Find Your Seat! Wedding Escort Cards or Seating Charts

ZMC Designs

My mother and I ran down to our venue yesterday on a whim to sneak a peak at what it looks like in summer. When my fiance and I booked the venue, there was still snow on the ground and it was hard to truly envision how it would look. We assumed the venue would be vacant since it was a Friday morning, but they were actually setting up for a wedding that night! This was actually a blessing in disguise because we were able to see the grounds with chairs and tables set up.

I pleasantly found we going to have a lot more room than I anticipated AND they have 18 tables instead of the 16 I was originally told (does happy dance inside). On our way home we got to talking about seating and the flow of the reception. I absolutely want the reception to have a flow and make sure that people are not confused about where they sit. For this reason I think we need escort cards.

Wedding Bee

Even with the discovery that we will have two extra tables and potential seating for 16 more people, I really think we might fill the venue to near capacity. Because of this I want guests to make sure they know where they will be seated after the ceremony. This is something that will not be easy for us given the layout of the venue.

We are essentially getting married in the back yard of a historic house with the reception taking place in the courtyard. My idea is that I want people to be "coaxed" into walking into the front door of the home where they will pass through the living room. My intent is to set up a gift table in this room and have the escort cards next to the guest book. I hope - hope - people will understand that they are supposed to pick up their card on the way to the ceremony....my mom thinks this will never happen in a million years.

Wedding Bee

I can only recall one wedding I attended that had a plated meal. In reality, the only reason you need an escort system is if you are serving a plated meal where people got to choose their entree. All other weddings I have been to had a buffet and people got to sit where they wanted. This would not be an issue for us either if I did not feel like we would need every single seat. Now, I have been to weddings that were filled to capacity and had no seating system - and it was a huge flipping nightmare.

What happens is a large group of people will want to sit together and just start grabbing chairs. Guests really will look at a table for 8 and decide on their own that they think they can cram 12 people at that table. Of course they will "steal" 4 chairs from other tables to make this happen. People who do not know each other will not sit together - they just won't - so more chairs will get moved and eventually you will end up with people who will claim "they cannot find a seat". This is the last dilemma I want to happen at my reception. Luckily, there are a few ways to inform or show guests where they are supposed to sit and each have their pros and cons.

Southern Weddings

Use a Favor as an Escort Card:

This is my favorite way of delivering an escort card because it kills two birds with one stone. You can set up a table next to your guest book with your favors and have a tag attached with a guests name and their table number. BUT - in order for this to work you MUST have a sign that lets people know "Hey, this is your favor BUT IT ALSO HAS A NAME ON IT." You know people will just absentmindedly grab a favor and not even look to see if there is a name on it until it is too late. If this happens, there is absolutely no going back and people will have to find their own seats. If great aunt Ethel has the favor/card for my father in law's cousin, there is no way on earth they will figure out who is who. I am leaning towards this approach myself but I will have a HUGE sign that says "Take a treat to find your seat!"

El Brooklyn Taco

Use Tented or Pick Style Escort Cards

Typical run of the mill escort cards are just folded pieces of paper that form a tent so they sit upright on a table. These are a nice option because you can DIY these yourself since most come on punch-out sheets that can be fed into a printer. Be weary of fancy fonts however because sometimes they can be very difficult to read. This can be especially bad if you have a family where there are several people with the same name.

These are also pretty simple to display on a table but PLEASE make it easy for guests and group them by table number. If you want three sets of your aunts and uncles to be seated at the same table, make it easy and group their cards together. This will help people move more quickly to get them to their seats. Make sure if you use simple tented cards that they are NOT left outdoors - the slightest breeze will send them sailing.

You can also attach a small piece of paper with a pick to something that is not a favor - such as a pumpkin, bubbles or a sparkler to be used at the end of the night, a small bag of candy, a cupcake, etc. I would shy away from anything that can be eaten and make a mess like a clementine orange or a frosted cupcake. If your guests get to the table and open an orange they will probably just leave the peels on the table - same goes for wrappers. Keep this in mind given that trash cans might not be put out until dinner is served.

Once Wed

Escort Cards at EACH Place Setting

Okay, I will admit it - I hate this method of letting people know where they are to be seated. Unless you are having a small wedding, it is really annoying as a guest to wander aimlessly from table to table trying to find your seat. This is made even worse if you as a bride think it will be *nice* to seat random people together. I was at a very large wedding once and I was seated with 10 people I did not know. I was not very familiar with the other guests either so it was not like I could ask someone if they saw my name. It took me over 15 minutes in a crowded dining hall to find my seat. So, unless you are having a 50 guest or under affair, I would not use this escort card method.

Planning Bio

Using Trees, Hooks, Shutters for the Cards

Instead of using something you can pick up from a table, some brides are hitting up Pinterest for cutesie ways of displaying their cards. You can tie the cards to a large tree and let guests hunt for their name, put keys on hooks on an old door, or tie luggage tags to chicken wire inside the frame. While these are all cute ideas and would look adorable in pictures, none of these methods are very practical.

If you use a large tree you are going to have guests looking at every single card for the one with their name. Keys on hooks look whimsical and vintage, but you will have guests removing every key until they find their own and they will absolutely leave the rest on the table. It will look junky and disorganized in no time. The same will happen with luggage tags - they will fall on the floor and get lost and you will end up with a few guests having no idea which table they are looking for.

I have also seen several posts about brides using wire with clips - one bump and every one of them will tumble to the floor. One post I read a guest pulled a whole bulletin board over on themselves when they tried to yank their card from it without removing the tack. The tree idea is cute until you get cards that are stuck on the branches and they have to be broken or torn to remove. You get the picture. Some things look better in an editorial setting than when used in real life.

Virtue Event Planning

Seating Charts

Another popular method is to whip up a seating chart. Have one large chart that features table numbers and the corresponding names. Notice I said a LARGE CHART. If you use this method, you need to make that baby big enough and high enough so that many guests can see it at once. You do not want a cue line a mile long with guests waiting to figure out their seat because they cannot see it from afar. You will also run into the problem of people who will see their name, walk away, and then forget their table number. This happens more often than you think (was I at table 16 or 18...hummm?). If you opt to use names for your tables instead of numbers (movie names, park names, sport's teams, etc.) you might want to avoid the use of a chart for the same reason - people will forget once they walk away and will need to return to the chart.

Etsy

Let People Sit Where They Want

In a perfect world guests from both sides of the family would all mingle and love to chit-chat like they were not complete strangers. In the real world - this - does - not - happen. People really dislike being stuck with people they do not know. Because of this, you will have people make a mad dash to the tables to stake their claim and you will end up with several people who then cannot sit together. To be blunt, this pisses people off because no one wants to be stuck at a table with "randoms".

If your venue is large enough that you will have extra tables or extra places to sit, then really you do not need to bother with a seating chart. A prime example of this is if you are getting married in a park and guests will need to sit at picnic tables, you will not need a chart for that. You will also not need a chart if you have seating set up for 140 guests but you know only 110 will show up. All inclusive venues will typically set up extra tables for this reason. On the other hand if you are like me and already know you will likely fill every seat for dinner, you best have a chart or card system to make sure everyone has a seat.

Oh, and don't worry if you feel your aunt will get fussy if she is seated with her sister, or if divorced parents need to share a table. They are only going to be "confined" to that seat for the purpose of dinner then they can get up and move elsewhere or go to the dance floor. I think a lot of brides forget about this when they start to fret about who gets to sit with who.

The Knot

What I think I will end up doing is set up a table with bagged cookies and use them as favor/escort card combinations. I like the idea of having something guests can take to their seat and have a "sweet" during cocktail hour. They can of course save it for later since we will have appetizers, but I like the use of something perishable over a trinket. This will also eliminate the need to put favors at each place setting and it will keep the table clean so I can showcase my centerpieces.

The bottom line is make sure you have a plan in place once you get your final counts in for guests. I would not recommend doing seating arrangements early because you really never know how many people will RSVP. Also keep in mind you will need to allow for a few extra seats for anyone who shows up and did not RSVP. Even if you think this will never happen in a million years, it does happen at most weddings.

Do You Remember Wedding Details? No? Odds Are, Your Guests Will Not Either

Town & Country

Take just a moment to think back on all the weddings you have attended in the past 5 or so years. 

If you are like me, you have probably been to a quite a few in that time frame - I think I have been to 7 or 8 weddings since 2008. I know that almost all of my fiance's best buddies have gotten married, and several of my friends have as well. However, when I think back on all the weddings I have attended there is honestly surprisingly little I remember about any of them.

Did they have centerpieces? What were they? Did I even look at the brides bouquet? Cake? Where was it - I do not remember it? Did we get a favor? Suits or tuxedos? What did I eat for dinner? How many appetizers did I eat? How long did I wait between the ceremony and reception? I honestly do-not-know...

I guess if I had to pick one element of a wedding I tend to remember the most it would be the ceremonies. I do remember almost every - single - aspect of every wedding ceremony I have witnessed. Aside from that, thinking back on all the weddings I have attended it is as if they are all blurred into one big memory. I felt like a total fool the other day trying to think if we received a favor at one friend's weddings and if we did, what it was. I could not remember and neither did my fiance - and he was IN THE WEDDING. Programs? I am sure I was handed one at every wedding I have attended, but I could not tell you a single thing about them. Same with invitations. I thought this was just me - that maybe I was too preoccupied with other things to "take in" everything about a wedding. But as it turns out, this is extremely common.

DIY Wedding Decorations

Apparently, unless some minor element of the wedding strikes a chord with a guest, they will not remember the fine "details" that all of us brides worry over when it is all said and done. For example, someone will recall if the song for the first dance is one of their favorites, but will not have a clue later on if that is not the case. I am guilty of this myself. One wedding I attended had Eric Clapton playing during dinner and I recall that vividly - but I could not tell you anything that was played at any other wedding.

Flowers and bouquets - other than people knowing they were incorporated no one will likely recall if you used roses or peonies or daisies and hydrangeas. To add to this, no one apparently remembers centerpieces at all or things like custom signage, boutonnieres, or fancy escort cards. I took a poll on this and this is an extremely common phenomenon - not to remember any minor details. The sad fact is all those cute ideas us brides to be see on Pinterest and are "must haves" at our weddings will probably not be remembered by the guests after the wedding is over. Oh and chair covers, sashes, or Chiavari chairs - yea, no one and I mean no one will or does remember what they sat on at a wedding or if anything was tied on the chairs. On the flip side I am sure if you used hay bales as seating and guests got chaff stuck to their rears they would absolutely recall that down the line.

Of course there are other "detail" things that seem to be remembered too - when things go wrong or are "out there". In my poll, several previous wedding guests indicated they could not have told anyone the "colors" the wedded couple chose unless something was really off the wall or hideous/mismatched. Same held true for bridesmaids dresses. For the ceremony all eyes are on the bride - so much so that most guests could not tell you what the bridesmaids were wearing. One of my poll takers said the only reason she noticed the centerpieces was because they were leaking and her phone was damaged by water running over the table.

Belvedere

So what do guests honestly remember? 

They will remember, in order:

Food
Bar/Alcohol
Cake
Dancing/DJ/Band

Yes, this is all that anyone will take from your wedding. Now of course they will remember that the bride was beautiful and the ceremony was lovely - but aside from that, guests will probably not recollect any detail about the gown, what was said during the vows, if you did a unity ceremony or not, etc. I do recall one wedding I attended where I was made aware before the ceremony that the bride spent a great deal of money on her gown. However as she walked down the aisle, all I recall was how happy she looked. I could not tell anyone any detail about that gown or what made it any different than any other dress out there.

In my poll it was almost unanimous that the most important aspect of a wedding to the guest is the food followed closely second by the bar. To be blunt, people WILL remember if your food sucked. They will also keenly recall if they were hungry at any time during the reception. I could talk about this all day. I have left weddings absolutely starving before. Actually, I have left most weddings feeling really hungry. I have aversions to a lot of foods (I do not eat red meat and I will not eat anything drenched in butter or cheese due to a lactose issue I have) and that is probably why I leave a wedding hungry. But I do recall if there was something particularly unappetizing served, or if there was a super long wait between the ceremony and reception and the appetizers were inadequate or not served at all.

People also want there to be booze at the weddings they attend - but as it turns out they really do not remember what they drank as long as it was alcohol. Several of my responders said they had no idea if they were served Two-Buck Chuck or top shelf liquor; all they know was if there was alcohol or not. That signature drink you spent a month mulling over? No one will be able recall what it was, but they know they drank something at the wedding.     

Brides

Cake/dessert is something else people will recollect - but not for the reasons you think. Most people will not even look at your cake during the reception. Yes, sorry, but that $1K masterpiece will not be something your guests reminisce over years later. Depending on where you have your reception, some venues will actually keep the cake in their kitchen until about 5 minutes before it is cut by the newlyweds then promptly whisked back to the kitchen for serving. I have been to several weddings where the cake was kept up by the head table, and if I was seated near the back there was no opportunity for me to see it before it was cut.

According to my poll, people will recall if what they ate was good or not. That is it. Special flavors? Signature fillings? Fancy fondant, gum paste leaves, edible flowers? Nope, no one will know/be able to recall what it was after the fact other than if it was tasty or yucky. Guests likely will not even remember the cake cutting, if you smooshed cake into your new spouses face, or what kind of topper you had - just if it was good or bad in taste.

The overall party, ambiance, and atmosphere is another top memory for former wedding guests. I am not big on dancing or partying, and I never have been. However, I do know a bad DJ when I hear/see it and I have been to weddings where the DJ either made or broke the overall feel of the wedding. Most wedding guests like to get up and bust a move at the reception. If the DJ or band cannot get people on the floor and get people dancing it will put a HUGE damper on the reception. When people say they had a "great time" at a wedding that usually means they were having fun dancing late into the night.

The DJ or band also has considerable influence on the "flow" of the wedding as well. If your wedding flows well, people will be more relaxed and more apt to enjoy themselves. I was a guest at a huge Catholic wedding a few years ago and the couple's DJ kept people dancing for about 8 hours - non-stop. They had to kick us out of the reception venue at the end of the night - it was a great time! And it was not a "club atmosphere" at all. The DJ played all kinds of music from all eras so the grandparents were able to get up and waltz and the "youngsters" could do their booty shaking. I have also been to weddings where the DJ was really inexperienced or the band was too loud as well. This is absolutely something your guests will take from your wedding and recall years later.

Weddings Jamaica

The reason I brought up this notion that guests really do not "take away" minor details from a wedding is because I was milling over all the cutesy details I wanted to incorporate in my wedding, but I had doubts that anyone other than me would notice or recall later. Things like upgraded tablecloths, favors, a photo booth, dessert bar, special ceremony elements, aisle flowers, centerpieces, pouches for the silverware, and so on.

Based on the answers I received in my poll, I have decided that plain white tablecloths will be just fine - no one will remember if I upgraded them to green pin-tuck or not (the cost will ultimately dictate what I end up with). I will probably go ahead and make the boutonnieres and pouches for the silverware, but I know now no one will probably make a mental note of this. We are not doing a traditional cake, which worried me a bit at first - but that is okay because what we have chosen is delicious and that is all that matters. Favors? I can make cookies and put them in brown bags with a "Thank You" tag - yea, I am totally not spending hardly anything on favors. I also am contemplating using mix-matched vases I already have for the centerpieces - no one will likely pay any attention if they all match or not.

When guests do remember something from a wedding unfortunately it is because something was bad, went wrong, or it was really over the top unique. People WILL notice if you used upgraded table linens and had $100+ centerpieces IF - IF they find that the food is lackluster and they will wonder why you did not spend a little more on the food and a lot less on decor. Bottom line, guests WILL focus on expensive details if you cheaped out on the food. The same goes for alcohol. If a guest notices that you spent $5 a piece on a wedding favor and yet you opted not to serve wine, they will wonder why you did not skip the favors entirely and get 50 bottles of Trader Joe's wine for people to sip with their entree.

QC Weddings

Aside from people being well fed and having a blast at your wedding, really positive or unique details will be remembered fondly in most cases. Some of my poll takers indicated that photo booths are almost always a HUGE hit because that is not something that appears at every wedding, it gives guests something to do other than dance, AND it doubles as a favor. People also seemed to really like yard games. Again, it gives guests something fun to do, and if they are having fun they will recall it later. I for example have never been to a wedding that had yard games, but we are having them at my wedding. As a former wedding guest that does not really like to dance, I like giving people an option to partake in some friendly competition instead of resorting to sitting pretty at a table all night.

Now, it must be said that NOT ALL GUESTS will find your nuptials to be a blur. Some people rarely attend weddings. If this is the case, they will probably remember almost everything. I am in my late 20's and for a while it seemed like I was attending a wedding every summer and then one in the fall for 3 years in a row. These became the "blur" weddings for me. You must also think that if you as a bride and groom want the wedding to have a certain look for the sake of PICTURES then this is also important. I am not a particular fan of straight up bridal pictures. Yes, I absolutely want that quintessential bride and groom picture framed for my nightstand, but I know 5 years down the road I will not want wedding photos of me in my dress hanging all over the house. What I DO want are pictures taken from the wedding that I can incorporate elsewhere.

I think that a framed photograph of a beautifully set table looks amazing hanging in a kitchen or dining room, pictures of bouquets always look nice in a bathroom, close up photos of games can always be used in a future nursery or in a "man cave" for the basement. For me, to ultimately have these kinds of photos where I can say "yes, these were taken at my wedding" is what I want. This is why minor details are important in my eyes, but probably not anyone elses. Weddings in general are also commonly a blur for the wedded couple as well since so much is going on anyway. So, ultimately I will be doing some of those "cutesy Pinterest DIY" things to incorporate into my wedding "look" because that is something I can and want to do AND I do feel it will help play into the ambiance of the wedding. However, knowing that guests will not really pay much attention I will be scaling back on things like table linens, center pieces, favors, and other "extras" and instead focus more on finding a great caterer, beefing up the dessert and appetizer bar, and finding a great DJ to keep the party going.

Band vs. DJ - Who to Pick for your Wedding

Joe DeBiak Entertainment

When it comes to planning a wedding, entertainment is one of the most important elements to consider in regards to your guests. People attend weddings for three reasons: Food, Booze, and Dancing. Basically if you eliminate one of those three things, you are going to have some pretty bored guests. Now, I have no issue at all in having a dry wedding. I do not drink so I honestly would not care at all if there was no liquor at my wedding. However, if you opt to have a dry wedding you should really bump up the entertainment aspect to get your guests involved on the dance floor. Let's face it, a lot of people consume a few drinks to loosen up and bring them out of their shells. BUT, a really great band or DJ can do the exact same thing without resorting to guests slamming the bar during cocktail or appetizer hour!

All For One Entertainment

Initially, we thought we would be using a DJ for our wedding. DJ's are a dime a dozen in the Indianapolis area and the prices of some range so wildly you really do not know the difference between one or another. Why is this guy $250 for 6 hours and that guy is $1000 for 8 hours? The truth is, unless you KNOW or meet with them, you really have no idea. My first encounters with entertainment vendors happened at bridal shows. I must admit, I was not immediately impressed with some of the things they did or offered. Several of the vendors at the Indianapolis bridal shows had packages that included laser lights, fog machines, projected images, etc. Or a bunch of stuff you would see at the CLUB and not at a wedding. I don't know about you, but I do not want my wedding to feel like a bachelor party in Vegas.

Another thing I took issue with was that a lot of these guys were really young and did not have a lot of experience. I have heard horror stories in the past about some local DJ's attributed to their youth. My mother hired a DJ for a work function some years ago and the "kid" who showed up was intoxicated. He also had no idea how to work a crowd of older people and proceeded to treat the event like a rave. As the night went on he became very insulting to guests who would not get up and dance and it was a total nightmare. We were also told about several mishaps at the Muncie bridal show by the event coordinator at the Horizon Center who said she personally does "damage control" in regards to DJ's because so many of them have showed up intoxicated or proceeded to drink while they were supposed to be playing music.

Martha Green Project

After hearing about the issues at the Muncie venue, I was less enthusiastic about having a DJ and was leaning more towards a band. One of my mother's former classmates and long time friend Martha Baker Green sings in a band and I swear she is the white Aretha Franklin. I thought how amazing would it be to have a live band at the wedding!? I also thought it would be unexpected and something guests would remember. However, when I got to thinking about all the other stuff we would need music for, I started to think having a band might not work.

Obviously a band (in most cases) is not going to have a sound system because it is not necessary. This is a problem though if you need to have a sound system for your outdoor ceremony. Most of your DJ's will have extra speakers, wireless microphones, and other things you will need for your officiant and of course the bride and groom so everyone can hear your vows. There is NOTHING worse than having an outdoor ceremony no one can hear!

Brideorama

Another issue you run into with a live band is that you will not have any music playing for when you walk down the aisle, during cocktail hour, or in the "down time" when the band takes a break. Also, you will typically find a band will only play for 3 hours on average at a wedding. They will also play for about 45 minutes to an hour then take a 20-30 minute break in between. So, if you have guests really getting into the music and are dancing, it is a downer to have to completely stop for half an hour. You would also need to curtail your reception schedule around when the band would play. This can be a problem if you have your wedding in the early afternoon because if you serve food at 4:00 for example and the band starts at 5:00, including breaks the band might only play until 9:00. If you still have guests wanting to party it up after that, you would need to arrange an after party somewhere.

I attended a wedding a few years ago and they had a live band. I must admit it was slightly awkward to not have any music playing during cocktail hour. The venue did have an indoor PA system to play the traditional wedding march for the aisle walk, but again their ceremony took place indoors. The band really got people moving on the dance floor, but after their first break that was the cue for many people to start leaving. I know we used the lull in the party to make an early exit because quite frankly the band was LOUD for the size of the room and we had headaches by the end of the night. So, if you want your guests to stay the whole length of your wedding, you might want to consider having someone play music the entire time.

Thailand Wedding Planning

Another thing you must consider is your guests and what they like to listen/dance to. My fiance loves motown music and jazz. For me, if I am going to dance I like disco music and modern pop. We both agreed that while we eat we would like old jazz and blues playing. I know for a fact not many people like this kind of music and prefer R&B, pop, or rock & roll. I like all kinds of music but again, I do not want my wedding to feel like a club and I do not think it is appropriate for "dance" music to be played during the meal. Most of our guests I think would prefer a live band because the majority of our guests are going to be older people - in other words people who will NOT dance. On the other hand, the young people in attendance will probably dance and I am not sure if people would dance to a blues band. I know our groomsmen like to bust a few moves, so ultimately I want the people who will actually be DANCING to have a good time.

Another issue you get into with bands is generally they only play one style of music, cannot take requests on the fly, and unless prior arrangements are made they will not make announcements such as the entrance of the bridal party. This can be an issue because the bridal party entrance usually takes place before the meal begins. Some people also like specific music to be played for the garter/bouquet toss, "funny" groomsmen dances, choreographed dance numbers, wedding games, and so on. A band for obvious reasons will likely not be able to do any of this.

High Society Music

Ultimately if money were NOT an issue, I would hands down have both a band and a DJ at our wedding. My biggest concern is having a PA system outside for our vows to be perfectly honest. Many couples with extra cash to burn for this part of their wedding do opt to have both a band and a DJ for the reasons I stated before in regards to PA systems for vows and for cocktail music as well as announcements and for late night dancing. However, if you do this you will be paying full rates for both vendors. Some couples who have both are able to get really great deals because they know someone or the bride has a bother in the band or whatnot. On the other hand if you are not able to get a "deal" with the vendor you are working with you should expect to pay MORE for a live band versus a DJ. 

You also have to take into account that you will need to add EVERYONE in the band to your meal list! Bands typically have 5 members and 2-3 assistants who come with them to weddings. You will need to provide food and refreshments for ALL of them. Whereas a DJ, who will also need to be provided with food and drinks will likely only have one person with them maybe two. If your plated meal is $40 a head and you add in a few drinks and cake you just added about $400 to your music budget if you go with a band.

On a side note, for some reason lately I have gotten a lot of Groupon offers for DJ packages. This might be forecasting for graduation parties and the like, but some of them are REALLY great deals! But again, without meeting with the actual DJ/MC I would be concerned about the maturity level of some of the younger guys and how they would act in a non-club setting. 

While both my fiance and I really love the idea of having a band, we are still milling over the "what-to-dos" in regards a PA system, music to play during cocktail hour, music after the band leaves, etc. We would also need to hire someone to man the computer or iPod player to make sure things were cued up as well. If it ultimately seems like it is going to be a bigger pain to have us provide our own music during down time, we will go with a DJ instead.