State & City Park Weddings - The Good, Bad, & The Ugly Regarding Rules

The Blanton House

After painstakingly going through list after list of venues located in Indiana, I was really concerned we would not find something that would "fit us." We looked at several barn venues first. But, there were so many issues with one barn venue or another that we decided to abandon that option pretty quickly. I wrote all about our adventures with barns in this blog post. I literally went through all the venue lists on The Knot, Wedding Wire, and Rustic Bride trying to find a venue that was suitable, affordable, and available. I even found this obscure website that listed all the state and city parks (I cannot even find it now but it looked like it was made in Windows 95).

Whatever we eventually came up with, I was dead set on NOT using a country club; locally most people use one of the country clubs because there really is no other option. So, we started exploring city and state parks. My fiance and I are outdoorsy people to the core. We hike and geocache almost every weekend in the summer so it makes sense for us to have an outdoor woodsy wedding.

Angel Canary Photography

The first place I thought of was Mounds State Park. My fiance and I spend many weekends here in the summer since it is only about 10 minutes from my house. This park is also where we had several of our first dates when we first started seeing each other. Mounds offers a very small building you can rent that I knew from the beginning would not be big enough.

However, when I was searching online I found this picture of a tent (pictured right) erected in the yard adjacent to the party building. This photographer's blog has dozens of pictures from this couple's wedding that took place in Mounds Park. This picture and many others show they were able to use the historic home on site to get ready, the use of the enclosed party building, and they were also able to rent a tent and chairs. I thought this would be SO PERFECT! This was until we called Mounds...

It took a few calls before we got a hold of someone who could give us the skinny on having a wedding at the park. Apparently, the couple who got married at the park (where all the lovely pictures came from) were given the "celebrity treatment" because at the time, they WORKED THERE. The girl we spoke to was snippy on the phone when we told her we found pictures online of a tent and chairs and use of the historic home, and we wondered if that was part of their wedding package. You could tell by the tone of the person we spoke to that other people had seen the photographers pictures online and called the park thinking they would be able to rent the same amenities too.

Olry Photography

At Mounds, there is no such thing as a "wedding package" and the girl on the phone wanted to know where these photos were found (as if she could force them to be removed from the internet). At Mounds, you CANNOT have a tent erected anywhere, you CANNOT have a company truck bring in chairs for outside, you CANNOT have any access whatsoever to the historic building or even the nature center to get ready in (so there is NO place to get ready), and you CANNOT prepay for cars to come in to park (everyone without a state park pass has to pay $5 or $7 to get in).

Basically, everything featured in these photos was a major no-no and no "real person" could ever do the same at the park. We were told we could bring in chairs in a pickup truck or "personal van" but we could not have something like a local rental company come and bring them in inside their box truck...How ridiculous! However, when we started to call other parks they too had some really, and I mean REALLY bizarre rules and regulations.

Here is a list of some of the problems we ran into:

Flush the Fashion

NO Alcohol or weird alcohol rules.

Probably half of the parks we contacted did not allow alcohol, but you have to basically call each place individually to get the rundown on alcohol. Some allowed beer, but no hard liquor. Some allowed you to have beer in cans, but absolutely no glass bottles. Some said we could have beer, but we would have to PUT TAPE ON EVERY SINGLE CAN so no one "could tell from a distance" that it was beer (this was a specific rule at Mounds Park)...Some allowed alcohol but we had to use a bartender of their choice.

Some allowed alcohol but as long as we had a permit on file (you have to BUY THIS from the state) we could use whatever licensed bartender we wanted. At the venue we chose, they are allowing us to use whatever bartender we want and we can have them serve beer, wine, and hard liquor but we will have to use ALL plastic drinking vessels. MOST PARKS do NOT allow you to use real glass glasses for drinking because if they break, kids can step on them and get hurt.

MAOG Meet Up

NO candles, sparklers, bonfires, BBQ smokers, etc.

Most people know parks have signs EVERYWHERE that prohibit the starting of a fire outside a designated fireplace or ring/pit. This same rule applies for a wedding. HOWEVER, some of the parks do not even allow you to start a bonfire if you are having a wedding on site. Why? They are afraid someone will start it then leave it unattended. One of the parks I looked at said if you are hosting an event that has more than 30 people, you have to get someone from the fire department or the head of the boy scout camp to come and supervise whatever fire you have for the entire duration of your party. Some parks only allow bonfires at designated campsites or community fire pit as well.

Unfortunately, people are irresponsible - plain and simple - especially if they have been drinking. Keep in mind as well that you cannot use candles that light with a flame or sparklers/fireworks for the same reason. Many of the venues we looked at do not allow candles PERIOD even if you are renting an enclosed building. Some parks go even further and will not allow you to have a BBQ smoker on site for catering.

Dpnak

NO throwing or releasing of anything.

At the venue we chose the manager was very specific about what we could "throw" and what we could not. For one, if we are using flower petals in the yard they must be 100% real. This means no polyester fake petals AND NO "biodegradable" paper either. The biodegradable petals do not disintegrate, plan and simple. They just become trash that the birds can eat and it can kill them. You also cannot throw rice anymore either - it will kill birds because if they eat it, it will expand and explode their stomachs.

Some venues said no sprinkles either - it causes ants and bees to invade. Most places will also not allow you to use glitter, any kind of confetti, silly string, or anything that will become "waste". Most places will allow you to use bubbles or birdseed however. You can also release butterflies in most parks but some are specific about doves so you will have to ask. Oh, In speaking of "throwing", most city and state parks have pack out policies. Any trash you bring in must be taken with you in trash bags you provide when you leave. So all those bags full of paper plates and half eaten burgers will have to go home with you after the wedding!

Middle of the Map Weddings

How and when you rent and reserve.

Most of these park venues do NOT allow you to rent them in advance. Much like a park-run campground, you have to either call or in some situations you must PHYSICALLY GO TO THE PARK to reserve an enclosed building or a pavilion. We had an RV when I was a kid and I remember getting up at the crack of dawn on a Wednesday or Thursday before school to go to a park to reserve a campsite for the weekend. Weddings are no different.

Some of the places we looked into tell you that you must wait one year to the day to either call or come to the park to SEE IF THEY ARE AVAILABLE. There is ZERO guarantee! Some of the parks also let it slip that they give special permission to city workers, donors, friends of park employees, boy scouts, schools, etc. So, basically if you want a very popular or specific weekend for your wedding, you probably will not get it.

Other parks will only allow you to come the DAY OF your event or the day before to reserve a pavilion or gazebo. If this is the case, you will need a family member, day of coordinator, or a groomsman - someone to hightail it to the park very early to reserve it. It is also NOT FREE to reserve a pavilion at some parks. This can be a catch 22 type situation because of how this is handled. Say for example you are getting married over Memorial Day weekend and you want use of a specific pavilion for the reception. Other park guests might come and be at the park early to set up their BBQ/family reunion at a pavilion without reserving it. So, you might be at the gate paying your rental fee like you are supposed to and when you get to "your" pavilion, there might already be a party in progress.

We actually saw this happen in Brown County this past October. We were hiking and heard a HUGE spat going down. A horse drawn carriage and about 30 cars arrived at a pavilion located next to the water. An older man (probably the bride's father) was screaming and waving their park permit at a Hispanic family that was holding a full blown Quinceanera with over 50 guests. We watched the spectacle for about 15 minutes and no one from the park came to help. It was obvious neither family was going to budge...

DNR Illinois

Lack of security, supervision, or other issues.

Never forget that parks are public spaces. Just because it is obvious someone is holding a wedding in a particular area of a park does not mean people will not sneak in or possibly cause a problem. The DNR are not your personal security! In fact, if you are having more than 100 people in attendance, it might be a good idea to hire an off duty police officer to watch over the party - in particular the gifts. It seems like every day you hear about cards and gifts getting stolen at weddings. It would be very easy for someone to slip in and out of a busy park unnoticed with your card box in their backpack.

You also have to take into account that other activities might be taking place at the park during your wedding. We go to parks all the time. Every now and then a marathon will take place and you cannot find a parking space in the whole park. It could be Boy Scout day and 200 ten-year-olds might be running around. The SWAT team might be doing diving training in the creek and they will be screaming (some are obscene) as they recover "bodies" from the water. People can also accidentally stumble upon your wedding - then proceed to walk through it because they do not know where the tail head is located. I must admit we did this on accident at the IMA when we visited their garden center on what was apparently also prom day. There were so many young ladies in fancy dresses with eager parents snapping photos we were trying to stay out of their way when we accidentally walked directly behind an officiant conducting a wedding...oops!  

Robert & Kathleen Photography

Limitations on tents and decorations.

Some of the parks we looked at stated under no circumstances could anyone use crepe paper streamers or balloons as decorations. These two items can blow or float away easily so that is understandable. One park said you could not use shepherd hooks that go into the ground. Many do not allow you to attach anything to the pavilions with tape, nails, or staples and instead you have to use twine. Many parks simply do not allow any "attached" decor at all (centerpieces are usually just fine).

Ultimately these rules are in place because people make a mess and certain things can really harm animals. Like I said before, most parks do not even have trash cans anymore because they have adopted a "pack out" policy. My fiance and I always take a trash bag with us when we hike because we volunteer to pack out whatever anyone else was too lazy to take with them to throw away themselves.

Many parks will not allow you to use tents either. Like I said before in regards to Mounds, if the tent has to be staked into the ground, most will not allow it. Keep in mind any large tent (like you use for a wedding) will need to be staked into the ground for stability. Some allow small popup style tents like caterers use. However, aside from the venue we chose that provides a tent, all the other parks we looked at had a strict "no tent policy" or a tent placement rule where they had to be in a certain spot. LIGHTING is another issue! Parks are NOT OPEN at night! Because of this, they are not illuminated. While some parks will allow you to stay until the late evening, make sure you have lights available and the electricity to use them. Most parks will allow you to use Christmas or cafe lights in pavilions since they can be easily draped and subsequently removed, but make sure you ask the park and have ample outlets!

Elizabeth Ann Designs

Music is another issue. Some parks do not care if you have a DJ - some will not allow you to have one at all. Strict sound ordinances are enforced by most parks in regards to how loud the music is across the board. Parks are peaceful places, and you must think not everyone will enjoy you blasting dance music in the early afternoon.

You have to keep in mind as well a park pavilion might not have any electricity (or appropriate number of plug ins) for a DJ to hook anything into. While some parks will allow you to have an string quartet or a band, again the rules and sound decibel limit will vary from park to park. Usually if the park allows music, you typically have to have it off by 10:00 or 11:00 PM. Never forget when you have a wedding at a park, it is not your private domain! Be respectful of park guests, any other bride that might be holding a wedding at the same time, and take care not to harm or damage the plants and animals.

MAJOR perks to having a park wedding:

Aside from some funky rules, ultimately parks really are great places to hold weddings. For one, you really do not need any decor - let the woods, water, and nature be your canvas. There is plenty of parking and usually they have handicapped accessible bathrooms. Parks are also very casual so you do not get that stuffy, hoity vibe you sometimes get from country clubs. If you think your guests will get bored, they can hike a trail, bring their fishing equipment, or snap some nature photos. Parks are also SUPER kid friendly! They have amazing playground equipment to keep them entertained or you can send them across the way to play kickball or tag. If you do not mind your guests sitting at picnic tables, seating will not be a problem so you do not have to rent anything extra for that.

Persimmon Images

Most parks are also very cheap to rent - that goes for pavilions and enclosed buildings. And if you need an event permit they are usually less than $100 depending on where you have your wedding (the park we chose does not require an extra event permit). There is also a major perk if the park has an eatery where they can cater your meal so you will not even have to deal with finding an outside caterer. If the park has cabins or camping, your guests can book one and make a weekend getaway out of the wedding, or your grandparents might want to bring their RV for the whole week and take a nice stroll down to your wedding. Your photos will be AMAZING! You will probably not have a waitstaff hovering around you the whole wedding and the whole thing can be very much about family.

Ultimately, we chose a park venue for the outdoor capabilities. I wanted that "in the middle of the woods" feel but with modern amenities like a tent in case it rained, ample lighting and electricity, modern bathrooms, a kitchen for the caterer, and formal tables and chairs. Our venue was more pricy due to them having all those amenities but I feel it will be totally worth it. On a side note, I cannot wait until May to revisit our venue so I can give a glowing review!

The Burlap Bride - Websites have RUINED Everything Unique about Weddings

Vintage Bliss Wedding

"Your wedding is going to look like a ridiculous yard sale!" My mother said this to me when I squealed with delight the day I found an old, beat up Pepsi cooler that I wanted to purchase to use as an ice chest for drinks at my wedding. It was banged up and really gross, but I was convinced I could turn it into a "cool element" at my wedding. My mom just looked at me like I was nuts and rolled her eyes as if I had lost my mind.

At the time, we were planning a simple back yard wedding without frills. The ice chest I found would have been an alternative to the run of the mill galvanized aluminum buckets you see on ALL the Pinterest pins. I guess I wanted something different that was not cliche, would be durable, and work for an outside wedding. While the internet is great for inspiration, I really do think it has ruined everything unique about weddings. It seems as though every time someone mentions a "theme wedding" all you hear are moans and groans about "how overdone it is" or that everyone has seen it before. And well, that is because we have - on Pinterest.

The more I thought about it the more I began re-thinking my "theme". Originally I wanted to do the lace/burlap/mason jar thing. I wanted my wedding to be more or less a slightly upper scale backyard barbeque. This is what I felt would be the most comfortable for my guests - because really most people hate having to get dressed up to go to a fancy wedding and are thrilled when you say it will be "casual" and jean friendly. So, off to Pinterest I went. Within no time I had amassed a board of 300+ pins featuring barns, mason jars, and whiskey barrel tables. When we initially thought we were going to have our wedding this year, we even visited a barn venue that ended up being a let down. I guess I wanted something different than a country club or a fancy place where people would feel uncomfortable. But was a barn really appropriate for us? Well, no, not really.

A Marriage of Passion and Style

My fiance was raised on a farm...but I do not think I have ever set foot in a barn other than to rummage for junk at an auction. At least a barn provides a shelter for tables in most cases - but they are really small and not very elegant when you actually look at them. But oh, the pictures! You know? The ones taken in October in the Midwest with the cafe lighted barn, and guests making toasts with mason jars, and the bride is in a lace mermaid gown, and there is a tire swing somewhere? For some reason, that was the vision of what I wanted at my wedding. I guess it was my way of having the elegance of lace with the rustic utilitarian aspect of burlap to create something "neutral"...but that is really not me. I am vintage quirky and will take a rainbow of colors over something neutral any day. My fiance and I are also the rugged outdoorsy type - as in we love to hike and experience nature. Something that we both are definitely NOT are "county people" - we do not ride horses, hunt, or go to the rodeo. On the other hand a barn venue would have provided an outdoor element - which is really more of what I was wanting the barn for. I guess I did not want to be "obvious" with my wedding theme or have people "just know" what I was going to do in terms of a theme before we even sent out invitations. At the same time, I did not want people to think we were having a hoe-down if we announced the reception would be taking place in a barn...

Polka Dot Bride

I must admit I was a bit irked in the beginning when I started telling friends and family members about my engagement and they automatically assumed I would be doing a "vintage theme" since I am a vintage dealer. For one, I really do not know what a "vintage theme" is. I certainly know what vintage items are because I sell them for a living - but did they think I would be going full blown 1890's Victorian, 1920's deco flapper, 1950's rockabilly, 1960's hippie? I do in fact love various elements of all these eras. But kind of like the decor in my house - "eclectic" is the term I prefer - choosing just one would be very hard for me. Furthermore, if you as a bride pick something very specific like 1920's speakeasy, you are extremely limited on various design elements you can use, otherwise it will look out of place. This can get quite costly very quickly because it would look odd if you were wearing a Mori Lee beaded sheath dress and your bridesmaids are in modern cocktail dresses. So, they would also have to get beaded gowns or something with feathers and fringe.

I personally take particular issue to some of these "extreme theme" weddings because they tend to look like costume parties or Halloween (think Great Gastby or Lord of the Rings). Additionally, for whatever reason the term "vintage theme" initially gets thrown into the same lot as rustic and shabby chic and if not, it leaves guests thinking they have to "dress a certain part" when they attend. I certainly did not want to declare we are having a "vintage theme" (era specific or not) and suddenly get a flood of calls from people asking if they have to wear zoot suits and fedoras or pearls and furs. Again, this was another reason why I thought the lace & burlap thing would work better...At the same time, this is yet another major drawback of utilizing a theme in your wedding.

Estate Weddings and Events

After the bummer at the barn venue and some other setbacks, we decided to push the wedding to next year. Honestly, I was feeling way overwhelmed with the whole planning process. However, before we made this decision I did find my wedding dress. It was nothing like I originally thought I wanted. I did have an ivory lace mermaid dress is mind and I tried one on, but I really could not justify spending $1000 on a dress. So, instead I kept with my frugal ways and found a really different, pre-owned, satin dress with TONS of STUFF. I love "stuff" and the dress I found has it all. It is two different colors, it has off the shoulder sleeves, it has rosettes, it has lace, it has appliques, it has pearls, it has rhinestones, it has EVERYTHING - in other words, it is totally me! It was at this time that I decided I needed to make my "theme" what I wanted and what "fit" us, and not based exclusively on something I saw online. I also decided that I no longer wanted to stick to something super specific so I could have the freedom to add elements without them looking out of place.

Wedding Bee

I was just curious as to what other brides-to-be actually thought of wedding trends and themes to see what they were personally sick of seeing or hearing about others doing, so I asked on Wedding Wire. The number one thing they said they were sick of was the rustic/mason jar trend - the "burlap bride". Brides seemingly are now totally disgusted by hay-bale seating, manure caked cowboy boots with a $2500 lace gown, chalk boards, wash tubs for drinks, hydrangeas and baby's breath, cutesie signs, and the aforementioned mason jars and burlap. They are also so over "random furniture" sitting out in fields with non-wedding related stuff on them or "shabby chic" because it looks like a flea market and not a wedding.

After I thought about it, it really does not make any sense to have a "display" of junk out on a table for your guest book. Why will a simple desk and a chair with a flower arrangement not suffice? Why is it necessary to stack classic novels 5 high with a dusty, old typewriter on top with a cutesie note that says to write something for the couple and have a top hat hanging on the chair-back? Well the latter is because someone saw it in an editorial photo shoot, it ended up on Pinterest, and brides thought it was "so cute" they had to have it for themselves. Guests however are likely going to say one of two things when they see this -"I don't get it" or "OMG I saw that on Pinterest, too!" In other words, no one will think you are clever, they will just sigh because they have seen it before and it makes no sense for the couple to have that particular element in their wedding.

Perfect Pear Bridal

The brides I asked on Wedding Wire were also so sick of looking at other specific "trendy" elements as well. Some of these were: Peacock/Mardi Gras, Damask when it does not fit the venue, nautical or beach themes in places like Oklahoma, candy bars, mustaches, chevron, putting signs on ring bearers and flower girls as if no one knows their role in the wedding already, weird food trucks when there is a plated meal, and signature drinks. Brides are even "over" older traditions like bouquet/garter toss and head tables. This however probably has more to do with the fact that the average bride and groom are nearly 30 when they wed and will either have no single friends and/or will have married friends who do not want to be packed into a head table in attendance.

Another reason why I think cliched themes are getting out of hand is commercial availability. Hobby Lobby for example has specific sections in the wedding aisles for burlap/rustic, peacock/masquerade, glam/deco, and so on. We also noticed that most of the local barn venues are offering in-house rentals of mason jars, mismatched plates, doilies, ecru linen tablecloths, etc. While this might be a dream come true for some brides, others might feel compelled to give in and use what is available for ease even if it was not what they had in mind. I mean if you think about it, I bet there are a lot of brides like me who wanted a barn venue for the unique space and outdoor possibilities and not necessarily because they wanted a "rustic" themed wedding. On a side note, I also wanted a barn because they are much more private than a park. It is very difficult to find a private venue that is not a barn actually.

It did seem that the rejection of of cliched/tired/used themes came about more recently according to a vendor I spoke with at a bridal show. I was also told that more brides are going modern and/or glam - with one or two colors and minimal decorations. In other words, brides are going back to simply choosing an accent color and NOT having a designated theme. One vendor attributed this to the fact that when some brides go with a "Pinterest-y" theme, the theme is literally represented EVERYWHERE. Nothing is seemingly subtle anymore, and this began to bother numerous brides. An example of "over theme-ing" would be if you used chevron as your main design element - and you proceeded to use a chevron aisle runner, straws, table cloths, favors, silverware wraps, cake, place mats, ribbon, etc. A color bomb is another - you do not need your bridesmaids to be in pink gowns, have the groomsmen wear pink vests, while you all hold/are wearing pink flowers, and your tables have pink centerpieces, pink overlays, pink napkins...you get the idea.

The Manor Restaurant

After being disappointed with some of the venues we looked at, I began leaning towards having the wedding in a park. This was initially what I wanted, but there are so many drawbacks to most parks that I did not think it would be feasible. Parks, nature, and hiking best represent who me and my fiance are as a couple - and it would get us out of using a specific theme. However I did understand that if we could not find a suitable park venue, we would have to tweak our design elements to whatever venue we came up with. I must admit it does bother me when I see weddings held in fancy, historic homes and the "theme" is carnival fun house or Star Wars. Luckily we found the most perfect venue I could have ever hoped to find (I am waiting until spring so I can take a zillion pictures and do a massive write up about it, that is how much I love the venue). The venue I found has a historic home, a covered patio, a garden, hiking, and more. So, given our good fortune of finding this epic venue we are doing an outdoorsy non-theme theme. If that makes sense.

Woodsy Weddings

Basically, we will be using elements of nature in our tables and decor. Most of this is going to be free or very low cost. I still have to buy linens - which will probably be green or ivory, but other than things like vases and flowers, the decor will be provided by nature. This will give us as a couple the flexibility to add other elements that would not really fit other themey-themes if we wish without it looking out of place. For example, I can add some vintage elements without it coming across as "shabby chic or rustic", my fiance and groomsmen can be casual or super formal without it looking out of place (you hardly ever see photos of a groom in a black tux at a rustic wedding), and we do not have to make the whole wedding totally formal or completely casual either. I do not want to go so far as saying we will have a "woodland" theme because I think a lot of people think of fairies and elves in a shire when they hear that term. 

Now that we (well me, I have spearheaded this whole "design element" of the wedding) have simplified things, I have found that we will be saving money by not having to buy mason jars, burlap for runners (no runners at all now), lanterns, "treat bar" items (we will give goodie bags as favors instead), non-edible favors, theme specific invitations, and so on. I still think I might make my own silverware pouches and/or sashes for the chairs since the dining chairs will be used outside at the ceremony. But, if I do this I will know I can immediately re-sell them after the wedding probably at a profit. Maybe for modern brides, having a no-theme theme is the way to go. I am still a little sad I did not buy that vintage Pepsi cooler for my drink tub though...