Do You Remember Wedding Details? No? Odds Are, Your Guests Will Not Either

Town & Country

Take just a moment to think back on all the weddings you have attended in the past 5 or so years. 

If you are like me, you have probably been to a quite a few in that time frame - I think I have been to 7 or 8 weddings since 2008. I know that almost all of my fiance's best buddies have gotten married, and several of my friends have as well. However, when I think back on all the weddings I have attended there is honestly surprisingly little I remember about any of them.

Did they have centerpieces? What were they? Did I even look at the brides bouquet? Cake? Where was it - I do not remember it? Did we get a favor? Suits or tuxedos? What did I eat for dinner? How many appetizers did I eat? How long did I wait between the ceremony and reception? I honestly do-not-know...

I guess if I had to pick one element of a wedding I tend to remember the most it would be the ceremonies. I do remember almost every - single - aspect of every wedding ceremony I have witnessed. Aside from that, thinking back on all the weddings I have attended it is as if they are all blurred into one big memory. I felt like a total fool the other day trying to think if we received a favor at one friend's weddings and if we did, what it was. I could not remember and neither did my fiance - and he was IN THE WEDDING. Programs? I am sure I was handed one at every wedding I have attended, but I could not tell you a single thing about them. Same with invitations. I thought this was just me - that maybe I was too preoccupied with other things to "take in" everything about a wedding. But as it turns out, this is extremely common.

DIY Wedding Decorations

Apparently, unless some minor element of the wedding strikes a chord with a guest, they will not remember the fine "details" that all of us brides worry over when it is all said and done. For example, someone will recall if the song for the first dance is one of their favorites, but will not have a clue later on if that is not the case. I am guilty of this myself. One wedding I attended had Eric Clapton playing during dinner and I recall that vividly - but I could not tell you anything that was played at any other wedding.

Flowers and bouquets - other than people knowing they were incorporated no one will likely recall if you used roses or peonies or daisies and hydrangeas. To add to this, no one apparently remembers centerpieces at all or things like custom signage, boutonnieres, or fancy escort cards. I took a poll on this and this is an extremely common phenomenon - not to remember any minor details. The sad fact is all those cute ideas us brides to be see on Pinterest and are "must haves" at our weddings will probably not be remembered by the guests after the wedding is over. Oh and chair covers, sashes, or Chiavari chairs - yea, no one and I mean no one will or does remember what they sat on at a wedding or if anything was tied on the chairs. On the flip side I am sure if you used hay bales as seating and guests got chaff stuck to their rears they would absolutely recall that down the line.

Of course there are other "detail" things that seem to be remembered too - when things go wrong or are "out there". In my poll, several previous wedding guests indicated they could not have told anyone the "colors" the wedded couple chose unless something was really off the wall or hideous/mismatched. Same held true for bridesmaids dresses. For the ceremony all eyes are on the bride - so much so that most guests could not tell you what the bridesmaids were wearing. One of my poll takers said the only reason she noticed the centerpieces was because they were leaking and her phone was damaged by water running over the table.

Belvedere

So what do guests honestly remember? 

They will remember, in order:

Food
Bar/Alcohol
Cake
Dancing/DJ/Band

Yes, this is all that anyone will take from your wedding. Now of course they will remember that the bride was beautiful and the ceremony was lovely - but aside from that, guests will probably not recollect any detail about the gown, what was said during the vows, if you did a unity ceremony or not, etc. I do recall one wedding I attended where I was made aware before the ceremony that the bride spent a great deal of money on her gown. However as she walked down the aisle, all I recall was how happy she looked. I could not tell anyone any detail about that gown or what made it any different than any other dress out there.

In my poll it was almost unanimous that the most important aspect of a wedding to the guest is the food followed closely second by the bar. To be blunt, people WILL remember if your food sucked. They will also keenly recall if they were hungry at any time during the reception. I could talk about this all day. I have left weddings absolutely starving before. Actually, I have left most weddings feeling really hungry. I have aversions to a lot of foods (I do not eat red meat and I will not eat anything drenched in butter or cheese due to a lactose issue I have) and that is probably why I leave a wedding hungry. But I do recall if there was something particularly unappetizing served, or if there was a super long wait between the ceremony and reception and the appetizers were inadequate or not served at all.

People also want there to be booze at the weddings they attend - but as it turns out they really do not remember what they drank as long as it was alcohol. Several of my responders said they had no idea if they were served Two-Buck Chuck or top shelf liquor; all they know was if there was alcohol or not. That signature drink you spent a month mulling over? No one will be able recall what it was, but they know they drank something at the wedding.     

Brides

Cake/dessert is something else people will recollect - but not for the reasons you think. Most people will not even look at your cake during the reception. Yes, sorry, but that $1K masterpiece will not be something your guests reminisce over years later. Depending on where you have your reception, some venues will actually keep the cake in their kitchen until about 5 minutes before it is cut by the newlyweds then promptly whisked back to the kitchen for serving. I have been to several weddings where the cake was kept up by the head table, and if I was seated near the back there was no opportunity for me to see it before it was cut.

According to my poll, people will recall if what they ate was good or not. That is it. Special flavors? Signature fillings? Fancy fondant, gum paste leaves, edible flowers? Nope, no one will know/be able to recall what it was after the fact other than if it was tasty or yucky. Guests likely will not even remember the cake cutting, if you smooshed cake into your new spouses face, or what kind of topper you had - just if it was good or bad in taste.

The overall party, ambiance, and atmosphere is another top memory for former wedding guests. I am not big on dancing or partying, and I never have been. However, I do know a bad DJ when I hear/see it and I have been to weddings where the DJ either made or broke the overall feel of the wedding. Most wedding guests like to get up and bust a move at the reception. If the DJ or band cannot get people on the floor and get people dancing it will put a HUGE damper on the reception. When people say they had a "great time" at a wedding that usually means they were having fun dancing late into the night.

The DJ or band also has considerable influence on the "flow" of the wedding as well. If your wedding flows well, people will be more relaxed and more apt to enjoy themselves. I was a guest at a huge Catholic wedding a few years ago and the couple's DJ kept people dancing for about 8 hours - non-stop. They had to kick us out of the reception venue at the end of the night - it was a great time! And it was not a "club atmosphere" at all. The DJ played all kinds of music from all eras so the grandparents were able to get up and waltz and the "youngsters" could do their booty shaking. I have also been to weddings where the DJ was really inexperienced or the band was too loud as well. This is absolutely something your guests will take from your wedding and recall years later.

Weddings Jamaica

The reason I brought up this notion that guests really do not "take away" minor details from a wedding is because I was milling over all the cutesy details I wanted to incorporate in my wedding, but I had doubts that anyone other than me would notice or recall later. Things like upgraded tablecloths, favors, a photo booth, dessert bar, special ceremony elements, aisle flowers, centerpieces, pouches for the silverware, and so on.

Based on the answers I received in my poll, I have decided that plain white tablecloths will be just fine - no one will remember if I upgraded them to green pin-tuck or not (the cost will ultimately dictate what I end up with). I will probably go ahead and make the boutonnieres and pouches for the silverware, but I know now no one will probably make a mental note of this. We are not doing a traditional cake, which worried me a bit at first - but that is okay because what we have chosen is delicious and that is all that matters. Favors? I can make cookies and put them in brown bags with a "Thank You" tag - yea, I am totally not spending hardly anything on favors. I also am contemplating using mix-matched vases I already have for the centerpieces - no one will likely pay any attention if they all match or not.

When guests do remember something from a wedding unfortunately it is because something was bad, went wrong, or it was really over the top unique. People WILL notice if you used upgraded table linens and had $100+ centerpieces IF - IF they find that the food is lackluster and they will wonder why you did not spend a little more on the food and a lot less on decor. Bottom line, guests WILL focus on expensive details if you cheaped out on the food. The same goes for alcohol. If a guest notices that you spent $5 a piece on a wedding favor and yet you opted not to serve wine, they will wonder why you did not skip the favors entirely and get 50 bottles of Trader Joe's wine for people to sip with their entree.

QC Weddings

Aside from people being well fed and having a blast at your wedding, really positive or unique details will be remembered fondly in most cases. Some of my poll takers indicated that photo booths are almost always a HUGE hit because that is not something that appears at every wedding, it gives guests something to do other than dance, AND it doubles as a favor. People also seemed to really like yard games. Again, it gives guests something fun to do, and if they are having fun they will recall it later. I for example have never been to a wedding that had yard games, but we are having them at my wedding. As a former wedding guest that does not really like to dance, I like giving people an option to partake in some friendly competition instead of resorting to sitting pretty at a table all night.

Now, it must be said that NOT ALL GUESTS will find your nuptials to be a blur. Some people rarely attend weddings. If this is the case, they will probably remember almost everything. I am in my late 20's and for a while it seemed like I was attending a wedding every summer and then one in the fall for 3 years in a row. These became the "blur" weddings for me. You must also think that if you as a bride and groom want the wedding to have a certain look for the sake of PICTURES then this is also important. I am not a particular fan of straight up bridal pictures. Yes, I absolutely want that quintessential bride and groom picture framed for my nightstand, but I know 5 years down the road I will not want wedding photos of me in my dress hanging all over the house. What I DO want are pictures taken from the wedding that I can incorporate elsewhere.

I think that a framed photograph of a beautifully set table looks amazing hanging in a kitchen or dining room, pictures of bouquets always look nice in a bathroom, close up photos of games can always be used in a future nursery or in a "man cave" for the basement. For me, to ultimately have these kinds of photos where I can say "yes, these were taken at my wedding" is what I want. This is why minor details are important in my eyes, but probably not anyone elses. Weddings in general are also commonly a blur for the wedded couple as well since so much is going on anyway. So, ultimately I will be doing some of those "cutesy Pinterest DIY" things to incorporate into my wedding "look" because that is something I can and want to do AND I do feel it will help play into the ambiance of the wedding. However, knowing that guests will not really pay much attention I will be scaling back on things like table linens, center pieces, favors, and other "extras" and instead focus more on finding a great caterer, beefing up the dessert and appetizer bar, and finding a great DJ to keep the party going.

Band vs. DJ - Who to Pick for your Wedding

Joe DeBiak Entertainment

When it comes to planning a wedding, entertainment is one of the most important elements to consider in regards to your guests. People attend weddings for three reasons: Food, Booze, and Dancing. Basically if you eliminate one of those three things, you are going to have some pretty bored guests. Now, I have no issue at all in having a dry wedding. I do not drink so I honestly would not care at all if there was no liquor at my wedding. However, if you opt to have a dry wedding you should really bump up the entertainment aspect to get your guests involved on the dance floor. Let's face it, a lot of people consume a few drinks to loosen up and bring them out of their shells. BUT, a really great band or DJ can do the exact same thing without resorting to guests slamming the bar during cocktail or appetizer hour!

All For One Entertainment

Initially, we thought we would be using a DJ for our wedding. DJ's are a dime a dozen in the Indianapolis area and the prices of some range so wildly you really do not know the difference between one or another. Why is this guy $250 for 6 hours and that guy is $1000 for 8 hours? The truth is, unless you KNOW or meet with them, you really have no idea. My first encounters with entertainment vendors happened at bridal shows. I must admit, I was not immediately impressed with some of the things they did or offered. Several of the vendors at the Indianapolis bridal shows had packages that included laser lights, fog machines, projected images, etc. Or a bunch of stuff you would see at the CLUB and not at a wedding. I don't know about you, but I do not want my wedding to feel like a bachelor party in Vegas.

Another thing I took issue with was that a lot of these guys were really young and did not have a lot of experience. I have heard horror stories in the past about some local DJ's attributed to their youth. My mother hired a DJ for a work function some years ago and the "kid" who showed up was intoxicated. He also had no idea how to work a crowd of older people and proceeded to treat the event like a rave. As the night went on he became very insulting to guests who would not get up and dance and it was a total nightmare. We were also told about several mishaps at the Muncie bridal show by the event coordinator at the Horizon Center who said she personally does "damage control" in regards to DJ's because so many of them have showed up intoxicated or proceeded to drink while they were supposed to be playing music.

Martha Green Project

After hearing about the issues at the Muncie venue, I was less enthusiastic about having a DJ and was leaning more towards a band. One of my mother's former classmates and long time friend Martha Baker Green sings in a band and I swear she is the white Aretha Franklin. I thought how amazing would it be to have a live band at the wedding!? I also thought it would be unexpected and something guests would remember. However, when I got to thinking about all the other stuff we would need music for, I started to think having a band might not work.

Obviously a band (in most cases) is not going to have a sound system because it is not necessary. This is a problem though if you need to have a sound system for your outdoor ceremony. Most of your DJ's will have extra speakers, wireless microphones, and other things you will need for your officiant and of course the bride and groom so everyone can hear your vows. There is NOTHING worse than having an outdoor ceremony no one can hear!

Brideorama

Another issue you run into with a live band is that you will not have any music playing for when you walk down the aisle, during cocktail hour, or in the "down time" when the band takes a break. Also, you will typically find a band will only play for 3 hours on average at a wedding. They will also play for about 45 minutes to an hour then take a 20-30 minute break in between. So, if you have guests really getting into the music and are dancing, it is a downer to have to completely stop for half an hour. You would also need to curtail your reception schedule around when the band would play. This can be a problem if you have your wedding in the early afternoon because if you serve food at 4:00 for example and the band starts at 5:00, including breaks the band might only play until 9:00. If you still have guests wanting to party it up after that, you would need to arrange an after party somewhere.

I attended a wedding a few years ago and they had a live band. I must admit it was slightly awkward to not have any music playing during cocktail hour. The venue did have an indoor PA system to play the traditional wedding march for the aisle walk, but again their ceremony took place indoors. The band really got people moving on the dance floor, but after their first break that was the cue for many people to start leaving. I know we used the lull in the party to make an early exit because quite frankly the band was LOUD for the size of the room and we had headaches by the end of the night. So, if you want your guests to stay the whole length of your wedding, you might want to consider having someone play music the entire time.

Thailand Wedding Planning

Another thing you must consider is your guests and what they like to listen/dance to. My fiance loves motown music and jazz. For me, if I am going to dance I like disco music and modern pop. We both agreed that while we eat we would like old jazz and blues playing. I know for a fact not many people like this kind of music and prefer R&B, pop, or rock & roll. I like all kinds of music but again, I do not want my wedding to feel like a club and I do not think it is appropriate for "dance" music to be played during the meal. Most of our guests I think would prefer a live band because the majority of our guests are going to be older people - in other words people who will NOT dance. On the other hand, the young people in attendance will probably dance and I am not sure if people would dance to a blues band. I know our groomsmen like to bust a few moves, so ultimately I want the people who will actually be DANCING to have a good time.

Another issue you get into with bands is generally they only play one style of music, cannot take requests on the fly, and unless prior arrangements are made they will not make announcements such as the entrance of the bridal party. This can be an issue because the bridal party entrance usually takes place before the meal begins. Some people also like specific music to be played for the garter/bouquet toss, "funny" groomsmen dances, choreographed dance numbers, wedding games, and so on. A band for obvious reasons will likely not be able to do any of this.

High Society Music

Ultimately if money were NOT an issue, I would hands down have both a band and a DJ at our wedding. My biggest concern is having a PA system outside for our vows to be perfectly honest. Many couples with extra cash to burn for this part of their wedding do opt to have both a band and a DJ for the reasons I stated before in regards to PA systems for vows and for cocktail music as well as announcements and for late night dancing. However, if you do this you will be paying full rates for both vendors. Some couples who have both are able to get really great deals because they know someone or the bride has a bother in the band or whatnot. On the other hand if you are not able to get a "deal" with the vendor you are working with you should expect to pay MORE for a live band versus a DJ. 

You also have to take into account that you will need to add EVERYONE in the band to your meal list! Bands typically have 5 members and 2-3 assistants who come with them to weddings. You will need to provide food and refreshments for ALL of them. Whereas a DJ, who will also need to be provided with food and drinks will likely only have one person with them maybe two. If your plated meal is $40 a head and you add in a few drinks and cake you just added about $400 to your music budget if you go with a band.

On a side note, for some reason lately I have gotten a lot of Groupon offers for DJ packages. This might be forecasting for graduation parties and the like, but some of them are REALLY great deals! But again, without meeting with the actual DJ/MC I would be concerned about the maturity level of some of the younger guys and how they would act in a non-club setting. 

While both my fiance and I really love the idea of having a band, we are still milling over the "what-to-dos" in regards a PA system, music to play during cocktail hour, music after the band leaves, etc. We would also need to hire someone to man the computer or iPod player to make sure things were cued up as well. If it ultimately seems like it is going to be a bigger pain to have us provide our own music during down time, we will go with a DJ instead.

Pros and Cons of Using a Barn for your Wedding Venue

Stockade Buildings Inc.

Honestly, the day after I got engaged I was online the WHOLE day researching wedding barns. I was really super excited to be engaged, but I knew finding a venue would be a problem. I was 100% positive I wanted a barn wedding. I sent out a flood of e-mails asking about availability and I was somewhat shocked that everything was booked 1-2 years in advance...and nothing was available in October. 

When my fiance asked for my hand in marriage in December of 2013, I was pretty dead set on having a wedding in October 2014....that is until I realized there IS a reason why it typically takes 18-24 months to plan a wedding. Unless you have a lot of friends and family who can either pitch in, pull strings, or offer services like a venue, catering, photography, and flowers it is HARD to put a wedding together in less than a year. In all honesty, it cannot be done IF you want to have a big party type wedding where friends and family come from out of state. Furthermore, barn weddings skyrocketed in popularity in the last 3 years and it seems that everyone wants that setting for their big day. This has caused a shortage in venues of this type because while a large number of people have a barn in rural Indiana, they house livestock and hay and are not "wedding ready."

Now, of course all that you need on your big day is your fiance, your license, and an officiant - that is it. But, being a big DIY person myself and wanting to have my personal touches incorporated into the wedding it became very evident in about a months time that the wedding would look "thrown together" if we tried to push for October. Furthermore, I was so set on having a barn wedding since it meshes with vintage so well, the idea of using a different kind of venue was something that I did not even want to think about because it was stressing me out. So, quickly my vision of having chandeliers hanging in a rustic setting while guests danced the night away were quickly fading. All my Pinterest pins were becoming irrelevant, my plan of an autumn wedding was going out the window, and the panic was setting in.

Then...the harsh reality of a barn venue hit me. Like a ton of bricks it hit me.

Many of the barn venues I looked at were open and bare, and had cafe rope lights and some chandeliers hanging inside. You get taken in by the ambiance, but once you start asking questions the more and more impractical they become. In fact, if you really take into account the needs of your guests - not just you - but all the people coming to your wedding, you might end up regretting having a barn wedding. 

Here is why: 

Zionsville Barn

Parking:

Many barn venues have you park in the grass or a pasture - this might be directly next to the barn. This can eliminate the possibility of having an outdoor ceremony if you wanted to use the barn solely for the reception. This can also be a problem if it rains and you will have women in heels tromping through mud. Some of the venues will also NOT come with parking attendants - this can become a nightmare fast because some of the lots are SO small, that you must pack the cars in like sardines to get everyone in. If left to park themselves, most people will not tightly pack-in unless directed to do so. So, you might fill the lot and not have enough room for everyone.

Hoosier Portables

Bathrooms:


Only ONE barn venue I looked at had a bathroom in the actual barn. Many barn venue sites do not tell you this because I think they hope the vision will take over and you will not mind renting a bunch of blue port-o-pots for your guests. I do not know about you, but my grandmothers and many elders in my family cannot and would not use a port-o-pot. Port-o-pots also DO NOT have sinks or running water. To have a hand washing station, this an extra cost AND YOU MUST HAVE WATER HOOK UP to use a hand washing station. 

If the barn you are looking at have no plumbing or a place to run water, guests cannot wash their hands. We were contemplating renting a Luxury Portable Bathroom Trailer from Hoosier Portables (pictured above) if we went with a barn venue. These look like real restrooms on the inside, have toilets that flush, have sinks with hot and cold water, have changing tables for babies, and are heated/air conditioned. BUT you MUST have electrical hookup and water hoses to get them to work. Furthermore, these cost $1500 to rent for ONE DAY!  

Another caveat is that none of the portable toilets are handicapped accessible. If you have any guests who use a wheelchair or walker they will not be able to use a portable restroom. And in speaking of most barns not having water...

D&R Market

Catering:

Nearly all caterers WILL NEED ACCESS TO A KITCHEN. Most of the time if a caterer is coming to an on-site venue, they will need the use of a full kitchen to prepare food. Even if someone is bringing a BBQ smoker, they still need refrigeration for meats and sides. Keep in mind that a barn, which probably housed horses a few years ago, will not have a kitchen. Unless there is a secondary building on site or the barn has been converted, the caterer you choose might not be doable if there is no kitchen. 

Even if you went with something like a food truck, just like the portable restrooms they need both water and electrical hookup to work. One of the barns I looked at had all these "partners" for catering. When I looked through them and what they offered, I suddenly realized that they were only showing pictures of hors d'oeuvres, appetizers, and snacks. In the small print on one of the catering sites they specifically said that if you have a wedding at "X" barn the only food option is cold appetizers and a full meal is not possible. It would be a BAD day if you booked your dream venue only to find you could not have real food served. 

Poetic Home

Heating & Air Conditioning:

Unless you are looking at a barn that has been converted, IT WILL NOT BE CLIMATE CONTROLLED!!! I am planning my wedding in the state of Indiana. We have deathly cold winters and sweltering summers. It can also be 30 degrees in the morning and 85 in the afternoon in the middle of October. In other words, the weather is so unpredictable that you have to plan for the worst case scenario. Most of the barns I looked at left it up to the renter to locate and rent fans or heaters at an additional cost. If you had to heat the inside of a wooden barn - how well do you think the heat would stay inside a structure without insulation and high ceilings? The answer is not very well. 

You would also probably be really limited on the number of heaters to rent (it would be taxing on whatever electrical they have) so if it were cold, guests would likely be shivering in their coats all night long. The prospects in summer can be just as bad with the common 100% humidity we get in July and August. A box fan - or even 20 of them will not do squat if it is humid. It will just make a TON of noise and BLOW napkins and hair everywhere and do nothing to cool a room.  

Keep your guests in mind!!! Many of our beloved elders are on medications for various things. I know there are at least 10 family members on my side of the family that CANNOT under any circumstances be allowed to get over heated, dehydrated, or be left in the sun for too long without having the option to go to a climate controlled area for even a little while. Sweltering heat can also cause dehydration to set in quickly...so if your guests will be having a few cocktails at your wedding be prepared to have some very tipsy guests. 

Memories Bridal & Evening Wear

NO Tables, Chairs, Tents, or Dance Floors:

Only TWO barns I contacted provided tables and chairs. Most of the barns are a "bare canvas" for you to envision what you want. But, that does mean you will need to rent your own tables and chairs. I priced this out at a local hardware store that rented round and rectangle tables and chairs - it would have been $700! Do not forget that if you want the ceremony outside, you will need extra chairs for that as well -one for each guest or enough benches for all. And you will need an arch, podium, or something like that for you to stand in front of while you exchange vows. 

You will probably need a tent too...believe it or not you cannot get more than 125 people in most barn venues - and double check the capacity with your venue manager! Some will assume that an open patio off the barn will serve as an additional seating area, but obviously if it is not covered and it rains everyone will need shelter. Once you get tables and chairs inside a barn with a DJ, buffet, gift table, cake table, etc. it can get cramped fast. If you find yourself in need of an outdoor space for people to spread out, to rent a tent that is 40X60 it will cost $800-$1000. If your idea was like mine and want a ceremony outside and a reception inside you have to plan what will happen if there is rain - which is why a tent is of the utmost importance. 

Some of the barns also have dirt floors or old slat floors. Have you ever danced on a dirt floor? What happens is the room will fill up with dust and look like a stampede and everything will get dirty. If the barn has a slat floor, beware of heels!!! Heels will get stuck in between the slats and cause falls and rolled ankles. Some of the barns have concrete floors but if they do not, you need to plan on renting an actual dance floor.

Clear Air Net

Allergies:

When the barn trend skyrocketed, many people decided to cash in on the wedding potential. This can mean that your amazing barn venue might have had horses, manure, and hay stored inside the previous summer. Many barns are also located on WORKING farms - meaning you could have crops being harvested in October or planted in the spring right outside your venue door. While it would not bother me at all if a combine rolled by while we were exchanging vows, I know my fiance would be in allergy hell. He is even the son of a farmer and has a cornfield in his backyard and he still has horrible allergies.  

Keep guests in mind!!! Many people are allergic to hay and dust from crops! Some barns, if they have been closed up and recently reopened to be used as a venue, might be moldy, musty, or smelly...or smell like horses. While you might think you can "get past the smells", in the summer the smells could be worse and be really gross while guests are eating. Be sure to ask if your venue has been renovated or treated. Two of the barns I looked at mentioned in their FAQ that they were sprayed and cleaned but some of the others were questionable.

Rustic Wedding Chic

A DJ, PA System, WiFi, Speakers, Etc.:

Like I mentioned before, some of these barns are really small on the inside once you get tables, chairs, and things like buffets, bars, and gift areas inside. Some are so small they specifically mention that they provide an "entertainment bar or suite"...which really means they have a card table for your laptop to play from Spotify. Many barn venues offer nothing more than that - so no speakers and many will not have internet access or WiFi. 

Now, most DJ's will have their own speaker stands and all their equipment - but many barns simply do not have the room for such things. And again, you will need to address the electrical situation because DJ equipment takes a lot of outlets. DO NOT FORGET about outside!!! I think a lot of couple do not realize if you have your ceremony outside, unless you have a microphone and speakers, no one past the first row can hear you. NO ONE CAN HEAR YOU AT ALL. I think this is one of the biggest wedding faux-pas that seem to happen again and again. Unless you see an electrical box outside the barn, you must ask if it is possible to run a PA system outside. If not, you might need to furnish your own extension cords so that your friends and family can hear your vows!

Elizabeth Anne Designs

Getting Ready:

Some of the barn venues have small bridal suites available for getting ready. However, of the barns I located that have suites, they were located in a "main house" or adjacent building to the barn. The issue you run into with this is that many of these barns are located on private property. This means the main house is probably where the owners live and you will be using their bedrooms, bathrooms, or basement if they did not add onto their property for this specific reason. 

At one venue we looked at, the main house would provide us with the entire upper floor for getting ready...But the groom and groomsmen would be in the same hall, so if you did not want someone to sneak a peek that would not really work. Then, it was quite a walk from the house to the barn - so far in fact that in heels it would not be possible. You would then need to arrange for someone to drive the bride and bridesmaids to the barn - not very practical. Another venue had a room for the bride, but it was only about 10X10 and it was dimly lit. Plus, the bridesmaids would either need to get ready before or after me if they wanted to use the same room. 

The Verdict:

I am still totally in love with the idea of having a barn/rustic/vintage wedding - especially if we found a venue with chiffon drapes, cafe lights, and chandeliers - and bathrooms, heat/ac, and tables and chairs on site. However, when speaking to an event manager, farmer, or private property owner in regards to renting their barn for your wedding do not forget to ask about:

1.) Bathrooms
2.) Handicapped Accessibility
3.) Outlets, Electrical, Water
4.) Parking
5.) Heating and Air Conditioning
6.) Dance Floor Situation
7.) Allergies
8.) Internet, WiFi, or Cellular Availability
9.) Kitchen and/or Refrigeration/Cooking
10.) Dressing and Changing Rooms/Suites

IN ADDITION:

Yesterday as I was researching barn venues I came across a scary reality. Some of these barns ARE NOT LICENSED TO BE OPENED. Depending on where you live, I am sure the laws vary greatly. However, I found a venue page on Facebook where some people opened a barn located on their private property for use as a "party barn" after they remodeled it for a family member's wedding. While it is perfectly fine to use your home, barn, shed, pavilion, etc. that you privately own for a private function, it is different than if you are to use the same building or area for a "public facility". 

The barn I looked at the other day was allowed to host weddings for almost a year (with weddings booked two years in advance from that date) only to have the zoning board come in and shut them down suddenly and without warning. I would imagine more than 2 dozen couples lost their venue when this happened if not more. Make sure with the venue owner or manager that they are licensed and insured to be open. Furthermore, make sure you read their contact and what it says regarding cancellations, accidental double bookings, emergencies, injuries, etc.