Trash The Dress - Safety & Sentiment: The Fad You Might Regret

Pirates of the Caribbean Wiki

The first time I heard of the concept "Trash the Dress", I honestly did not really know what it meant. I thought maybe it was a runway term where a model walks the catwalk in couture but has mud smeared all over it? Then I remembered a funny Pinterest pin where a bride and her bridesmaids got 1980's prom dresses and went paint balling in them for the bachelorette party. I guess I did not realize it pertained to wedding dresses, being worn by real brides, and they usually jump into a pool or lake in their gown so they can have photos taken of the sight.

When I understood that was what "Trash the Dress" meant, the FIRST thing that popped in my head was the scene from Pirates of the Caribbean when Elizabeth Swann faints and falls into the ocean with her dress acting as an anchor. Captain Jack Sparrow then has to rescue her by ripping her gown off and cutting her corset to prevent her from drowning...yes...drowning. In fact, if you go to Wikipedia and look up Trash the Dress, the latter part of the short article is about a Montreal woman who drowned in a river when the water swept her away during her Trash the Dress photo shoot. The weight of the wet dress pulled her down river and she could not be saved.

Bliss Bride

Of course you do not have to get into the water; you can throw paint on each other, or mud. But why? What is the point of this? I asked this question on my WeddingWire page because I thought this concept was silly. Yes, silly - like something little kids would do. I guess I see things differently because I am a vintage dealer. I see hope and promise in all the garments I sell and if someone else can wear it or use it, I am all for it. Furthermore, if you really do not want to deal with your dress again after you wear it to your wedding, you can donate it so someone else can have the chance to be a beautiful bride too.

Most wedding dresses today are made of polyester, which can get wet and dry just fine. But if the thread used to sew the gown together is cotton, once it it saturated it will never be the same. Likely, it will in fact ruin the gown even if you take it to a dry cleaner because it will cause irreversible puckering. If you have any real silk/charmeuse/georgette on your gown, it will also be ruined if it gets wet because it will completely lose shape. However, since most dresses today are made of 100% washable fabrics, some will hold up just fine if they are washed in a bathtub or worn by a bride jumping into a pool.

Middle Child Photography

But what about truly trashing a dress? Obviously if you and your groom throw paint on each other it will likely never come clean. Likewise, if you are going to "waller" in a mud hole you will likely rip and tear your gown on any rocks or sticks that might be in the pit. Then the pictures...oh my the pictures. Yes some photos online of models floating in a pool wearing their gowns looks etherial, but notice I said models. Most underwater shots take a team of photographers and people to assist the model. Then pictures are Photoshopped heavily so the girl does not look like a downing victim.

When I started looking online at some various photographers who did Trash the Dress photos, most of them looked NOTHING like the "magazine shots". In fact, many of them were a hot mess. Faces were obstructed by hair and veils, makeup running, "fish faces" when holding breath, the mud looked like poo, etc. Even if your pictures turned out really cute, funny, or you as a bride were otherwise pleased with them, your family will gasp - and not the good kind when you show them. You can bet your family members will be aghast that you would ruin your dress. You can also bet your mother/grandmother will say you look like hell and "it is such a same" you ruined your gown. It is one thing to dip your toes in the ocean at your beach wedding - it is another to have photos taken of you covered in seaweed looking like Swamp Thing while wearing your gown.

Evan Bishop Photography

In speaking of mothers and grandmothers, are they paying for your dress? If they are, you might want to think twice about the backlash you may receive from them if you destroy your dress. Yes, having a family member pay for your gown is a gift, but do not even think for a second that the sweater Grams gave you for Christmas is even remotely the same as them buying your wedding gown. 

Even if you are paying for your dress yourself, what if in the future you want a cocktail dress made from your gown? What if a friend falls on hard times and she would love to wear your dress? What if you fall on hard times and need to sell it? What if you have a daughter who wants to wear your gown someday? If your dress is ruined during your Trash session - intended or not - you really cannot use the dress ever again and no one else will be able to wear it. Just keep future possibilities in mind before you do something rash with your dress that you might regret later.

I mean really, to each is own when it comes to your clothing. However, remember that your wedding dress is probably the only thing your family will ever remember you wearing. You never know if someone will want to see it again or wear it again in the future. So, obviously if your dress is trashed it will end up in the actual trash. Everyone knows your dress is likely only going to be worn once, but that does not mean that it is a good idea to destroy it. A wedding dress is one of the most recyclable garments you will ever own. Not only could someone else wear the whole thing again, but you could reuse the veil or different parts of the dress for other things. When I asked the question on WeddingWire, the overwhelming response is that most brides would NEVER consider trashing their dresses citing sentimental value, re-usability, backlash from others, etc.

My Wedding Nigeria

If you as a bride are dead set on Trashing the Dress, there are a few things to consider. If your parents or family bought your dress for you, you might want to go ahead and buy a CHEAP dupe dress from an online seller to trash. Some of the dupes are less than $100 and you can still keep your real gown. That way, you can have your fun photos and it will not be something your mother brings up every now and again since you will still have your real dress.

No mater what dress you choose to wear during your trash session, keep in mind SAFETY above all else. If you decide to jump into a pool in your gown, make sure you can touch the bottom the whole time. If you want to know how heavy a WET wedding gown can be...wrap a bunch of towels around you and jump into the pool as a trial run. You can get wet towels off a whole lot faster and easier than a wet wedding dress. DO NOT wade into a river that has a current - it takes no time at all to slip on a rock and get swept away. Not to mention your gown can get caught on anything and drag you under. You really might want a dupe dress if you are going into water because it will not have a liner and it will be made of a lighter weight fabric in almost all instances.

VO Photographers

Take equal safety precautions if you are using PAINT. I saw a photo online where the bride and groom were using REAL SPRAY PAINT on each other (pics were taken inside an old garage and I cannot find the photo for the life of me). Spray paint can kill you if you inhale it and it can severely irritate your skin. Make sure you use kids finger paint - it is soap and water clean up and I believe it is non-toxic. Kids paint CAN still stain however, so even if it is washed it might leave a tinge of color in the fabric.

You can use icing instead of mud. No bride wants to get ringworm the day after her wedding by playing in the mud. Not to mention if you really are tromping in mud, you are probably rolling in animal poo, road waste, fertilizer runoff, etc. Hell, if you are going to go that route it would be much easier to get some clearance cakes from the grocery and throw that all over each other if you are so inclined. You get the same affect without the worry of getting poo in your mouth.

Sarah Sun Photography

Here is another idea. How about instead of truly trashing your dress, you take some "trashy" photos instead? Not trashy as in trashy, but I think a photo of a bride in her crisp white dress in an unconventional setting is much more striking. Consider taking pictures in front of a graffiti filled tunnel, sitting atop some dumpsters, standing on a junked car, walking though an abandoned building, etc. You still get that "trashed" look without actually messing up your dress.

Also consider when you plan on doing this. Some brides opt to do this kind of thing the morning after her wedding so the bridesmaids can get in on the photos too. Make sure this will not interfere with family travel plans, brunch, honeymoon packing, etc. A typical trash the dress session can take 2-3 hours of your time. Also make sure your groom is not wearing his rented tux for this...If you plan on doing it a few weeks later, you might want to get your hair and makeup done if you are not going to have your head under water. Maybe get another bouquet so you can have true "bridal" look. This should be considered an added expense to your overall wedding budget as well.

Knight Image Photography

Above all other things, keep in mind that "Trashing the Dress" is a FAD. It will likely go away in a few years. This means in the future, anyone looking at pictures of a trash session will likely see it as being tacky or weird. Like when my parents got married in the 1970s it was the "in thing" to superimpose pictures. So, there are pictures of their wedding where there is a huge head up in the corner of a shot of the church, or a silhouette of a head with the cake in the center... It looks totally bizarre by today's standards, but it was a fad back then that was very popular. 

Despite the fact there are always new "must have" wedding photos that crop up, they will of course become tired fads that no one will care to see anymore (wedding party jumping for no reason, groomsmen wearing superhero t-shirts, "tiny" bride being stepped on by her husband, zombie apocalypse attacking the reception), Trashing the Dress is the only one that actually involves potentially/actually destroying  your gown. If the only reason you are wanting to do a trash session is for the photos, keep in mind that your future children will probably think it is silly, senseless, and "not cool".