Band vs. DJ - Who to Pick for your Wedding

Joe DeBiak Entertainment

When it comes to planning a wedding, entertainment is one of the most important elements to consider in regards to your guests. People attend weddings for three reasons: Food, Booze, and Dancing. Basically if you eliminate one of those three things, you are going to have some pretty bored guests. Now, I have no issue at all in having a dry wedding. I do not drink so I honestly would not care at all if there was no liquor at my wedding. However, if you opt to have a dry wedding you should really bump up the entertainment aspect to get your guests involved on the dance floor. Let's face it, a lot of people consume a few drinks to loosen up and bring them out of their shells. BUT, a really great band or DJ can do the exact same thing without resorting to guests slamming the bar during cocktail or appetizer hour!

All For One Entertainment

Initially, we thought we would be using a DJ for our wedding. DJ's are a dime a dozen in the Indianapolis area and the prices of some range so wildly you really do not know the difference between one or another. Why is this guy $250 for 6 hours and that guy is $1000 for 8 hours? The truth is, unless you KNOW or meet with them, you really have no idea. My first encounters with entertainment vendors happened at bridal shows. I must admit, I was not immediately impressed with some of the things they did or offered. Several of the vendors at the Indianapolis bridal shows had packages that included laser lights, fog machines, projected images, etc. Or a bunch of stuff you would see at the CLUB and not at a wedding. I don't know about you, but I do not want my wedding to feel like a bachelor party in Vegas.

Another thing I took issue with was that a lot of these guys were really young and did not have a lot of experience. I have heard horror stories in the past about some local DJ's attributed to their youth. My mother hired a DJ for a work function some years ago and the "kid" who showed up was intoxicated. He also had no idea how to work a crowd of older people and proceeded to treat the event like a rave. As the night went on he became very insulting to guests who would not get up and dance and it was a total nightmare. We were also told about several mishaps at the Muncie bridal show by the event coordinator at the Horizon Center who said she personally does "damage control" in regards to DJ's because so many of them have showed up intoxicated or proceeded to drink while they were supposed to be playing music.

Martha Green Project

After hearing about the issues at the Muncie venue, I was less enthusiastic about having a DJ and was leaning more towards a band. One of my mother's former classmates and long time friend Martha Baker Green sings in a band and I swear she is the white Aretha Franklin. I thought how amazing would it be to have a live band at the wedding!? I also thought it would be unexpected and something guests would remember. However, when I got to thinking about all the other stuff we would need music for, I started to think having a band might not work.

Obviously a band (in most cases) is not going to have a sound system because it is not necessary. This is a problem though if you need to have a sound system for your outdoor ceremony. Most of your DJ's will have extra speakers, wireless microphones, and other things you will need for your officiant and of course the bride and groom so everyone can hear your vows. There is NOTHING worse than having an outdoor ceremony no one can hear!

Brideorama

Another issue you run into with a live band is that you will not have any music playing for when you walk down the aisle, during cocktail hour, or in the "down time" when the band takes a break. Also, you will typically find a band will only play for 3 hours on average at a wedding. They will also play for about 45 minutes to an hour then take a 20-30 minute break in between. So, if you have guests really getting into the music and are dancing, it is a downer to have to completely stop for half an hour. You would also need to curtail your reception schedule around when the band would play. This can be a problem if you have your wedding in the early afternoon because if you serve food at 4:00 for example and the band starts at 5:00, including breaks the band might only play until 9:00. If you still have guests wanting to party it up after that, you would need to arrange an after party somewhere.

I attended a wedding a few years ago and they had a live band. I must admit it was slightly awkward to not have any music playing during cocktail hour. The venue did have an indoor PA system to play the traditional wedding march for the aisle walk, but again their ceremony took place indoors. The band really got people moving on the dance floor, but after their first break that was the cue for many people to start leaving. I know we used the lull in the party to make an early exit because quite frankly the band was LOUD for the size of the room and we had headaches by the end of the night. So, if you want your guests to stay the whole length of your wedding, you might want to consider having someone play music the entire time.

Thailand Wedding Planning

Another thing you must consider is your guests and what they like to listen/dance to. My fiance loves motown music and jazz. For me, if I am going to dance I like disco music and modern pop. We both agreed that while we eat we would like old jazz and blues playing. I know for a fact not many people like this kind of music and prefer R&B, pop, or rock & roll. I like all kinds of music but again, I do not want my wedding to feel like a club and I do not think it is appropriate for "dance" music to be played during the meal. Most of our guests I think would prefer a live band because the majority of our guests are going to be older people - in other words people who will NOT dance. On the other hand, the young people in attendance will probably dance and I am not sure if people would dance to a blues band. I know our groomsmen like to bust a few moves, so ultimately I want the people who will actually be DANCING to have a good time.

Another issue you get into with bands is generally they only play one style of music, cannot take requests on the fly, and unless prior arrangements are made they will not make announcements such as the entrance of the bridal party. This can be an issue because the bridal party entrance usually takes place before the meal begins. Some people also like specific music to be played for the garter/bouquet toss, "funny" groomsmen dances, choreographed dance numbers, wedding games, and so on. A band for obvious reasons will likely not be able to do any of this.

High Society Music

Ultimately if money were NOT an issue, I would hands down have both a band and a DJ at our wedding. My biggest concern is having a PA system outside for our vows to be perfectly honest. Many couples with extra cash to burn for this part of their wedding do opt to have both a band and a DJ for the reasons I stated before in regards to PA systems for vows and for cocktail music as well as announcements and for late night dancing. However, if you do this you will be paying full rates for both vendors. Some couples who have both are able to get really great deals because they know someone or the bride has a bother in the band or whatnot. On the other hand if you are not able to get a "deal" with the vendor you are working with you should expect to pay MORE for a live band versus a DJ. 

You also have to take into account that you will need to add EVERYONE in the band to your meal list! Bands typically have 5 members and 2-3 assistants who come with them to weddings. You will need to provide food and refreshments for ALL of them. Whereas a DJ, who will also need to be provided with food and drinks will likely only have one person with them maybe two. If your plated meal is $40 a head and you add in a few drinks and cake you just added about $400 to your music budget if you go with a band.

On a side note, for some reason lately I have gotten a lot of Groupon offers for DJ packages. This might be forecasting for graduation parties and the like, but some of them are REALLY great deals! But again, without meeting with the actual DJ/MC I would be concerned about the maturity level of some of the younger guys and how they would act in a non-club setting. 

While both my fiance and I really love the idea of having a band, we are still milling over the "what-to-dos" in regards a PA system, music to play during cocktail hour, music after the band leaves, etc. We would also need to hire someone to man the computer or iPod player to make sure things were cued up as well. If it ultimately seems like it is going to be a bigger pain to have us provide our own music during down time, we will go with a DJ instead.

Love & Lace Bridal Show 2014

Ashtin Rae's Floral & Decor

This past weekend my mother and I attended the Love & Lace Bridal show sponsored by Indy Wedding Ideas. The event was held at Pipers at the Marriott which was a rather nice facility. They have grand rooms with chandeliers but the best part was the atrium room that featured a lovely pond. 

The above picture I took of Ashtin Rae's Floral & Decor. I was somewhat bummed because they were the ONLY vendor at the expo that had flowers. I must admit that my favorite part about going to bridal shows is looking at tablescapes and flowers. This show however was rather heavy on the photographers. They had so many in fact that I had a difficult time remembering who was who.

Ace Rentals

One of the most helpful vendors we came across was Ace Rentals. They had a very small display showing the nice chairs they rent (beautifully adorned with flowers I might add), BUT Lisa who was the representative for Ace said they rent linens. Our venue does NOT provide linens of any kind so we were milling over the possibility of buying linens or renting them. Their prices seemed to be quite reasonable and they rent other things like tents, tables, concession stands, etc. We do not really have any decent places to rent items in Anderson so I was having a hard time trying to figure out where to rent from since we knew we would have to find a company in Indy. I have not gotten so far as to find out of they do delivery or set up from Ace, but Lisa was very helpful in her e-mails regarding making an appointment in the future to look at swatches.

Indayani Baked Goods

I must admit, a GREAT display makes a world of difference at a bridal show. Indayani Baked Goods presented the most DELECTABLE spread of glorious treats - oh it was gorgeous! They also had a ton of different treats - macarons, mini pies, chocolate dipped pretzels, cookies, etc. All are gourmet as well. I believe they have a physical store located in Indianapolis, but they also have a great Etsy site and they can be found on Facebook. They had by far the most impressive display in my opinion. You could also tell it was very well received by the visitors, and it was a company that I had never heard of before.

Indayani Baked goods

This photo is also of the Indayani Baked Goods spread, and this could be a fabulous inspiration of how you can do a treat table at your wedding. I think the "tower" pictured is a croquembouche but I am not sure. Croquembouche are becoming the new cupcakes in terms of having non-traditional cakes at weddings. I am actually milling over the idea of doing this with A Slice of Heaven Cakery's famous cake balls, which we will be serving at our wedding.

The Riley Party Barn

I was surprised that Riley's Party Barn had a booth at the expo since they are from Anderson. I must admit, I have heard several not-so-good stories about parties held at this facility in the past. Apparently, the previous manager was a relative who really did not put a great deal of work into marketing the barn or helping people book it for weddings. However, a wonderful young man named Blake is now managing the rentals of the barn. We will be attending an open house next week to check it out, because it might be a great space for family reunions, open houses for graduations, or other events. They do not have what I would call a "scenic" area for an outdoor ceremony, but Blake indicated that they have put a lot of money into bringing the barn up to snuff with other wedding venues. I will post pictures when we go for sure because there are NOT many facilities like this in Anderson at all.

Visit Hendricks County

It really is a shame that Anderson/Madison County does not have what Hendricks County has in terms of services for visitors and couples planning a wedding. Visit Hendricks County is BY FAR the most helpful service I have ever seen for tourism. Not only did they have a specific booth to illustrate wedding facilities located in the county, but the representative said that I can go to their website or call them and they can provide recommendations for food, catering, lodging, rentals, florists, etc. AS A FREE SERVICE. Seriously?! Yes! This is taken from their website: "Let us help with your wedding plans. From finding your perfect wedding reception location, to discounted room blocks at Hendricks County lodging facilities, to offering free welcome bags for your out-of-town guests, we can help make your wedding planning a breeze. Best of all, our services are complimentary." 

Visit Hendricks County

I am getting married in Hendricks County and my jaw about hit the floor when I was told this information. I was fretting pretty badly because I have never spent any time in Hendricks County. My fiance has because he worked a job at their waste water treatment plant for quite some time, but I had never been there before. Now, I am actually really excited to be getting married here because it seems there is a lot of stuff to do in the area. They have a fabulous blog written by locals illustrating various hotspots in the county as well as lesser known haunts. For example I found out about McCloud Nature Park through the blog (as avid hikers my fiance and I have never heard about this park). We are totally going here in the spring and I am SUPER excited! 

Oh Happy Days Rentals

OK, back to the bridal show review... Another vendor I was extremely impressed with was Oh Happy Days Rentals. I was partial to this booth because all the stuff they had, I have pretty much the same stuff in storage. As a vintage dealer I have accumulated quite a haul of similar items - but it is refreshing to see it on display for practical use. All my stuff has been packed in boxes for years because I honestly do not know what to do with it. I must admit some of their items were REALLY adorable and whimsical. 

Oh Happy Days Rentals

They had baskets with mason jars to hold flowers - very unique for a centerpiece. They also had various arches available for rent they can rig with vintage chandeliers. They rent ALL kinds of stuff from doors, furniture, flower pots, watering cans, baskets, trunks, dishes, chairs, etc. You name it, they probably have it. Oh Happy Days will also be at the bridal expo we will be attending this Sunday so I will be sure to take more photos. 

Cakes by Cathy

The final display I was really impressed with was Cakes by Cathy. Cakes by Cathy needs no introduction. She is a multi-award winning cake artist located in Needham, Indiana. The cakes are art...it is simple as that. They had a MASSIVE display with over 10 different cake flavors to taste. I love coconut, so I tried Almond Joy. Oh-my-gosh it was so good! Their cakes are on the high end in terms of price, but obviously you ARE getting what you pay for here. If you want a cake your guests will remember for years to come, Cakes by Cathy is the place to go!

Cakes by Cathy

If you can dream it, Cathy and her team can make it. They had a huge book on display as well of many cakes they have made in the past. They had one that looked like an ambulance that was used as a grooms cake. Too cute! Although we have already found a wonderful baker, I would not hesitate for a second to recommend Cathy because I know she would do an impeccable job for any bride! I also have no doubts that she could make anything you could dream up or find on Pinterest.

Cakes by Cathy

Cakes by Cathy also had a GREAT idea in terms of cake display. They had all these little cakes inside bird cages! It was fabulous! Since we found such an elegant venue, we are tweaking our theme to reflect more of a woodland atmosphere. I am going to use a birdcage for our cards and I am milling over the idea of using branches for center pieces and hanging birds from them. This would be so cute for display, and you simply lift off the lid for cutting. 

Cakes by Cathy

This was a very long bridal show for us. We were early to arrive because we were not sure of how the parking would be handled since there was so much snow. We are glad we arrived early because the parking at Pipers was bizarre. There was a little lot in the front - with no outlet. So, we almost got stuck there. Then, the banquet facility is also an apartment complex so other guests had to park all the way in the back and walk in the snow to get inside. I wished they would have had a parking attendant out there because several people almost got stuck in the front lot since there was no way to get out once you got in. 

On a final note: Everyone who goes to these shows attends in hoping they will win a great prize. Well...I WON something! Inside the gift bags they handed out, we were told to look and see if we had a map with a prize card attached. Mine was for Mary Kay! I won a FABULOUS gift certificate for $75 to use towards makeup or a wedding trial. I think me and my mom are going to use it for a wedding trial just to see. I have never had anyone do my makeup before so it should be a lot of fun! 

I also got an e-mail saying I won an engagement photo session. I was beaming until I realized when you win a "photo session" this does not mean you win the photos. I was SO BUMMED when I e-mailed the photographer and asked about the photos because I was told that while we would get a single printed 8X10, if we wanted the digital photos it would be $300. Yea...sorry but I will not be forking over $300 for pictures taken of me and my fiance in hockey jerseys. My mom agreed that when the weather gets better we will go to Mounds Park and she can use my "fancy camera" to take pictures of us to use for our wedding website. From now on I WILL ASK photographers before I enter contests what "winning" a prize from them really means. I was really disappointed the session would not come with the photos.

Bride on a Budget - Small Town Florists Are The Way To Go

Lazy Daisy

When my mother and I attended the Beautiful Beginnings Bridal Show a few weekends ago it got me thinking about flowers and flower arraignments. I did another post about the gorgeous flowers local florists offered and I was surprised at how AFFORDABLE flowers can be when you purchase them from a small town florist. This is not to say flowers are cheap - because they are not. However, after attending a smaller bridal show in Muncie that featured florists from around my hometown and a large bridal show in Indianapolis, the prices between using a "mom and pop" shop and a major florist are HUGE. Realistically, the larger florists are going to be double what a small shop will charge you. Furthermore, I think you get a much better level of customer service with a smaller shop anyway.

Hand Tied Memories

There were two florists I spoke to at the Muncie bridal show. One was Lazy Daisy and the other was Hand Tied Memories. Lazy Daisy was amazing because they let you RENT their fabulous vases for FREE, and they seemed to be very easy going and accommodating. They had their bouquets wrapped in vintage handkerchiefs and were placed in Mason jars which is what attracted me to them in the first place.

Hand Tied Memories was also wonderful! Marta King and her shop had been recommended to me previously because she uses unconventional flowers to make her arrangements. This was a HUGE plus in my book! Furthermore, Marta told me that she strives to make the most of a brides budget. This was taken from her website: "We can price each item individually or as a package. After determining the flowers needed, I will figure out what to order to build your wedding. All flowers ordered for your wedding will be used for your wedding. Our brides often comment on the extras, or a surprise arrangement, because when we get done with every item that has been ordered, if there are flowers left over, we will create an additional floral surprise. We are not just selling flowers to someone for a wedding, we are creating a beautiful wedding with flowers." Most florists will NOT do this and will use extra/left over flowers to sell as bouquets in their shops for other events or needs. I was very pleased to learn Marta will do this for the brides!

Photo I took of a Lazy Daisy Bouquet

Another GREAT thing about small flower shops is they will tell you costs in a very straightforward manner. When I spoke to a big name florist at the Indy bridal show, both attendants would not even give me price points for the bouquets they had on display...they were polite but simply handed me a brochure and cards and was told to call and make an appointment. Another vendor who had a florist as part of their design group simply stated their flowers START at $2000 and go up from there - so in other words don't even bother calling them unless you plan on spending that and more. This was a bit discouraging because as a bride planning out a budget it would have been nice to know the prices of samples so I could have gotten a better idea of what certain things would cost....

No worries! The florists at Beautiful Beginnings were SUPER helpful and said they I could get a realistic price list on their websites. Both Lazy Daisy and Hand Tied Memories have average costs on their FAQ pages.

Hand Tied Memories

Both florists were comparable in pricing and both had very easy to understand pricing menus. Their pricing of course is probably for averages of all the brides they have provided a service, and I feel like they are accurate and realistic. Keep in mind some flowers like peony and calla lilies cost more than hydrangeas or roses.

For what I would need from:

Hand Tied Memories

Hand Tied Memories: A bridal bouquet, flowers for 3 bridesmaids, boutonnieres for 6 groomsmen, 2 mother's corsages, a boutonniere for my father in law, centerpieces for 16 tables (not sure of this number yet), and an altar arraignment would cost between $1855.00 on the high end to $711 on the low end.

Lazy Daisy - Pinterest

Lazy Daisy: A bridal bouquet, flowers for 3 bridesmaids, boutonnieres for 6 groomsmen, 2 mother's corsages, a boutonniere for my father in law, centerpieces for 16 tables (not sure of this number yet), and an altar arraignment would cost between $2330.00 on the high end to $725 on the low end.

As you can see, you can get into the high dollar with really expensive arraignments, or you can obviously cut costs dramatically by having something more modest. $700 for ALL that seemed very reasonable and is quite a savings from $2000. Keep in mind that some florists will charge extra for any vases or vessels for the flowers unless you buy your own (I will be purchasing my own). There are also delivery fees, deposits, set up/take down, tax, after wedding preservation and so on for flowers as well. Also plan on having an additional budget for "extras". For example, since our venue is a park, we will need to use real flower petals for the aisle. We also might need something for a flower girl, additional corsages for grandmothers, flowers for the cake/treats table, aisle pillar arraignments, and so on. Since we are planning the details of our wedding so far in advance we have not discussed specifics with a florist yet. But, to be safe I would say add an additional $300 to your floral budget just in case of extras that might crop up.

Trash The Dress - Safety & Sentiment: The Fad You Might Regret

Pirates of the Caribbean Wiki

The first time I heard of the concept "Trash the Dress", I honestly did not really know what it meant. I thought maybe it was a runway term where a model walks the catwalk in couture but has mud smeared all over it? Then I remembered a funny Pinterest pin where a bride and her bridesmaids got 1980's prom dresses and went paint balling in them for the bachelorette party. I guess I did not realize it pertained to wedding dresses, being worn by real brides, and they usually jump into a pool or lake in their gown so they can have photos taken of the sight.

When I understood that was what "Trash the Dress" meant, the FIRST thing that popped in my head was the scene from Pirates of the Caribbean when Elizabeth Swann faints and falls into the ocean with her dress acting as an anchor. Captain Jack Sparrow then has to rescue her by ripping her gown off and cutting her corset to prevent her from drowning...yes...drowning. In fact, if you go to Wikipedia and look up Trash the Dress, the latter part of the short article is about a Montreal woman who drowned in a river when the water swept her away during her Trash the Dress photo shoot. The weight of the wet dress pulled her down river and she could not be saved.

Bliss Bride

Of course you do not have to get into the water; you can throw paint on each other, or mud. But why? What is the point of this? I asked this question on my WeddingWire page because I thought this concept was silly. Yes, silly - like something little kids would do. I guess I see things differently because I am a vintage dealer. I see hope and promise in all the garments I sell and if someone else can wear it or use it, I am all for it. Furthermore, if you really do not want to deal with your dress again after you wear it to your wedding, you can donate it so someone else can have the chance to be a beautiful bride too.

Most wedding dresses today are made of polyester, which can get wet and dry just fine. But if the thread used to sew the gown together is cotton, once it it saturated it will never be the same. Likely, it will in fact ruin the gown even if you take it to a dry cleaner because it will cause irreversible puckering. If you have any real silk/charmeuse/georgette on your gown, it will also be ruined if it gets wet because it will completely lose shape. However, since most dresses today are made of 100% washable fabrics, some will hold up just fine if they are washed in a bathtub or worn by a bride jumping into a pool.

Middle Child Photography

But what about truly trashing a dress? Obviously if you and your groom throw paint on each other it will likely never come clean. Likewise, if you are going to "waller" in a mud hole you will likely rip and tear your gown on any rocks or sticks that might be in the pit. Then the pictures...oh my the pictures. Yes some photos online of models floating in a pool wearing their gowns looks etherial, but notice I said models. Most underwater shots take a team of photographers and people to assist the model. Then pictures are Photoshopped heavily so the girl does not look like a downing victim.

When I started looking online at some various photographers who did Trash the Dress photos, most of them looked NOTHING like the "magazine shots". In fact, many of them were a hot mess. Faces were obstructed by hair and veils, makeup running, "fish faces" when holding breath, the mud looked like poo, etc. Even if your pictures turned out really cute, funny, or you as a bride were otherwise pleased with them, your family will gasp - and not the good kind when you show them. You can bet your family members will be aghast that you would ruin your dress. You can also bet your mother/grandmother will say you look like hell and "it is such a same" you ruined your gown. It is one thing to dip your toes in the ocean at your beach wedding - it is another to have photos taken of you covered in seaweed looking like Swamp Thing while wearing your gown.

Evan Bishop Photography

In speaking of mothers and grandmothers, are they paying for your dress? If they are, you might want to think twice about the backlash you may receive from them if you destroy your dress. Yes, having a family member pay for your gown is a gift, but do not even think for a second that the sweater Grams gave you for Christmas is even remotely the same as them buying your wedding gown. 

Even if you are paying for your dress yourself, what if in the future you want a cocktail dress made from your gown? What if a friend falls on hard times and she would love to wear your dress? What if you fall on hard times and need to sell it? What if you have a daughter who wants to wear your gown someday? If your dress is ruined during your Trash session - intended or not - you really cannot use the dress ever again and no one else will be able to wear it. Just keep future possibilities in mind before you do something rash with your dress that you might regret later.

I mean really, to each is own when it comes to your clothing. However, remember that your wedding dress is probably the only thing your family will ever remember you wearing. You never know if someone will want to see it again or wear it again in the future. So, obviously if your dress is trashed it will end up in the actual trash. Everyone knows your dress is likely only going to be worn once, but that does not mean that it is a good idea to destroy it. A wedding dress is one of the most recyclable garments you will ever own. Not only could someone else wear the whole thing again, but you could reuse the veil or different parts of the dress for other things. When I asked the question on WeddingWire, the overwhelming response is that most brides would NEVER consider trashing their dresses citing sentimental value, re-usability, backlash from others, etc.

My Wedding Nigeria

If you as a bride are dead set on Trashing the Dress, there are a few things to consider. If your parents or family bought your dress for you, you might want to go ahead and buy a CHEAP dupe dress from an online seller to trash. Some of the dupes are less than $100 and you can still keep your real gown. That way, you can have your fun photos and it will not be something your mother brings up every now and again since you will still have your real dress.

No mater what dress you choose to wear during your trash session, keep in mind SAFETY above all else. If you decide to jump into a pool in your gown, make sure you can touch the bottom the whole time. If you want to know how heavy a WET wedding gown can be...wrap a bunch of towels around you and jump into the pool as a trial run. You can get wet towels off a whole lot faster and easier than a wet wedding dress. DO NOT wade into a river that has a current - it takes no time at all to slip on a rock and get swept away. Not to mention your gown can get caught on anything and drag you under. You really might want a dupe dress if you are going into water because it will not have a liner and it will be made of a lighter weight fabric in almost all instances.

VO Photographers

Take equal safety precautions if you are using PAINT. I saw a photo online where the bride and groom were using REAL SPRAY PAINT on each other (pics were taken inside an old garage and I cannot find the photo for the life of me). Spray paint can kill you if you inhale it and it can severely irritate your skin. Make sure you use kids finger paint - it is soap and water clean up and I believe it is non-toxic. Kids paint CAN still stain however, so even if it is washed it might leave a tinge of color in the fabric.

You can use icing instead of mud. No bride wants to get ringworm the day after her wedding by playing in the mud. Not to mention if you really are tromping in mud, you are probably rolling in animal poo, road waste, fertilizer runoff, etc. Hell, if you are going to go that route it would be much easier to get some clearance cakes from the grocery and throw that all over each other if you are so inclined. You get the same affect without the worry of getting poo in your mouth.

Sarah Sun Photography

Here is another idea. How about instead of truly trashing your dress, you take some "trashy" photos instead? Not trashy as in trashy, but I think a photo of a bride in her crisp white dress in an unconventional setting is much more striking. Consider taking pictures in front of a graffiti filled tunnel, sitting atop some dumpsters, standing on a junked car, walking though an abandoned building, etc. You still get that "trashed" look without actually messing up your dress.

Also consider when you plan on doing this. Some brides opt to do this kind of thing the morning after her wedding so the bridesmaids can get in on the photos too. Make sure this will not interfere with family travel plans, brunch, honeymoon packing, etc. A typical trash the dress session can take 2-3 hours of your time. Also make sure your groom is not wearing his rented tux for this...If you plan on doing it a few weeks later, you might want to get your hair and makeup done if you are not going to have your head under water. Maybe get another bouquet so you can have true "bridal" look. This should be considered an added expense to your overall wedding budget as well.

Knight Image Photography

Above all other things, keep in mind that "Trashing the Dress" is a FAD. It will likely go away in a few years. This means in the future, anyone looking at pictures of a trash session will likely see it as being tacky or weird. Like when my parents got married in the 1970s it was the "in thing" to superimpose pictures. So, there are pictures of their wedding where there is a huge head up in the corner of a shot of the church, or a silhouette of a head with the cake in the center... It looks totally bizarre by today's standards, but it was a fad back then that was very popular. 

Despite the fact there are always new "must have" wedding photos that crop up, they will of course become tired fads that no one will care to see anymore (wedding party jumping for no reason, groomsmen wearing superhero t-shirts, "tiny" bride being stepped on by her husband, zombie apocalypse attacking the reception), Trashing the Dress is the only one that actually involves potentially/actually destroying  your gown. If the only reason you are wanting to do a trash session is for the photos, keep in mind that your future children will probably think it is silly, senseless, and "not cool".

Wedding Shoes - What to Choose

Wedding Dress Overture - Etsy $59.99

OK - So apparently I was the only person who did not know brides were supposed to get special shoes to wear on their wedding day. I guess I did not understand why you would - no one is going to see them unless you are wearing a tea, ballet, or shorter length dress. I just assumed you wore white shoes to match your white dress...I can distinctly remember some wedding photos my fiance and I were sent from a wedding that happened back in 2009. There were probably 30 pictures of shoes - both from the bride and bridesmaids. I thought this was the silliest thing I had ever seen and they looked like a catalog shots - not wedding pictures. I had never seen pictures of just wedding shoes from a wedding before either. Now, I have seen some nicely done pictures where the wedding rings are placed around the heel of the shoe and the picture is very artsy and cute. But just shoes?

Badgley Mischka - Zappos $200

Well, that was until I realized what brands of shoes some brides were buying to wear on their big day. Brides are dropping top dollar on elegant heels by designers like Badgley Mischka, Kate Spade, and Christian Louboutin just to name a few. Any shoes you buy from these designers are going to be over $400 a pair if you get them from a physical store (not online). 

When you take into account the national average spent on a bridal gown is $1,100 I guess it really does not seem as ridiculous to spend $400-$600 on a pair of shoes...unless you are me and think this is just beyond absurd. However, I guess if you are going to spend that kind of money on a pair of shoes then they are worth photographing. I can see how it could be very nice to have some close up pictures of your gown, veil, shoes, and rings to then have printed and framed for display in your home. But I do not see the rationale behind spending half of what you spent for a gown on shoes just for a photograph.

Mix No. 6 - DSW $24.95

I can understand you not being able to wear your wedding dress more than once. But shoes? Why would you spend another $400 for a pair of heels that you know damn good and well you will not wear all night, and probably not wear again? Most brides who get married in heels wear them down the aisle so they are face to face with their soon to be hubby. 

Statistically, most brides are shorter than their husbands so it makes sense to wear heels at the altar. But dancing the night away in heels?! That is just a recipe for disaster. Most of us ladies know the dangers associated with dancing in heels. You get blisters, roll your ankles, and trip. It just happens. Then, even if everything is smooth sailing, eventually your legs will start to hurt and you get to the point where you are just dying to get those heels off your feet.

Lucia Bridal Flip Flops - David's Bridal $29.50

 Because of all the issues you run into dancing in heels, many brides are giving Dollar Store flip flops to her bridesmaids inside their gifts at the rehearsal dinner - and keeping an extra pair for herself! Or, they are letting bridesmaids know they are encouraged to purchase a second pair of flats to wear for dancing. In other words, some brides have the gall to tell their bridesmaids that in addition to buying a dress and a pair of heels, they are being asked to purchase a second pair of matching flats for the reception. 


Personally, I would never ask my bridesmaids to buy two pairs of shoes. I can understand a bride wanting her girls to have matching footwear, especially if they are wearing shorter dresses. But I do not think it is fair or necessary for the bride to tell her bridesmaids to buy heels and flats or buy really expensive shoes.

My Glass Slipper - Monique Lhuillier $397.50

Always keep in mind your venue as well! I think a lot of brides forget if they are going to have their ceremony outside, plan on walking out to a wooded area for photos after the "I Dos", or are going to be on uneven ground (cobble stone, slat floors, gravel, etc.) you are going to either sink into dirt, have a very hard time walking, or completely destroy the leather sole of the shoes. Almost all of the higher end wedding shoes have very thin tipped heels and all leather bottoms. 

I made the mistake of wearing one of the nicest pairs of heels I own to an outdoor wedding. Not only did I sink in the grass 3 inches from the heel AND got them all muddy, but holes also poked through the leather soles from errant gravel in the area. The shoes had to be sent away for repair the following week.

Fioni Glitter Pump Payless Shoes $19.99

It is for these reasons that you might want to think about going the cheap route with your wedding shoes. This is not to say that inexpensive is always cheap looking. For one, if you are wearing a traditional length gown, no one will see your shoes. No one will be LOOKING at your feet as you walk down the aisle either. All eyes will be on YOU and your smiling face! Plus, if you are going to wear heels keep in mind they will probably be coming off shortly after the ceremony. When my future sister-in-law got married a few years ago, I think her and all her bridesmaids wore white platform flip flops down the aisle. If they wore heels then changed shoes, no one ever knew!

I asked the question "Will you wear your shoes again?" on WeddingWire just to get a few opinions. About half of the responders said they will either wear shoes they already own, or will buy cheap shoes because they know they will not wear them again. Others said they would be buying specific shoes for the wedding, but will be buying shoes that they know they will probably wear again. Almost everyone agreed it is not necessary to splurge on a pair of wedding shoes and that being comfortable standing in whatever shoes you wear all day is the most important factor. One bride did lament that she bought a pair of satin shoes for her wedding and she did wear them a few times after - but she officiated a wedding outside wearing said heels and sunk into the mud, completely ruining them. 

Depending on how long my dress is after it is altered will determine what shoes I will wear. I have a pair of emerald green flats that would be cute but I might have to wear a bit of a heel on my big day. Regardless, if I have to buy a new pair of shoes I will probably get them from DSW or Payless ShoeSource. While the idea of buying online is enticing, I think I want to try on the shoes and get a feel for them if I will in fact be wearing them all day. I will write an update post once my dress is finished and I go shoe shopping!

Rustic Outdoor Weddings in Parks - Do NOT Use Glass Vessels for Drinking!

Triangle Catering

Within days of getting engaged I already had a pretty solid theme in mind. I wanted rustic, vintage, and outdoorsy. This would allow my fiance and I to blend my vintage side, with his families farming heritage, with our mutual love of the outdoors. Perfect! I also knew I wanted to use handled mason jars for the drinks. I was so enthusiastic about this I wrote a whole blog post about it. I found a great deal on them at The WEBstaurant Supply Store, but since I knew they would take up a lot of space I was delaying on ordering them. I was certainly glad I did!

The Bizzy Bride

Did you know if you have your wedding within the confines of a park you cannot use GLASS drinking vessels? I certainly did not know this. You cannot use glass for regular drinks, beer, or even coffee. If it is meant to be carried around - then it can be dropped and broken. You CAN use glass like Mason jars or vases for centerpieces and for toasting flutes, but even if you have wine glasses on the tables they must be plastic. You can however use real china for the plates. 

We will be having our wedding at a historic home that is owned by a park. The caretaker of the home and grounds said that no matter how careful people are, they will drop glasses out on the patio or in the grass and they break. She also said that if this happens, guests will not tell anyone out of embarrassment and eventually someone will step on the glass. I understand this all too well. My fiance and I spend almost every weekend in the summer hiking at parks and we practice "pack outs". Basically this means we bring a trash bag with us and pick up garbage people have thrown away in the woods. Most of it are beer cans, and broken beer bottles. It is very dangerous for children when people discard glass and other sharp garbage in parks.

Catch My Party

Hallelujah! New this year (2014) I discovered that some online merchants are carrying PLASTIC mason jars. And yes, I have found examples with handles and plain ones. They typically have "Daisy Cut Lids". 

If you type this into the Etsy search, you will find many sellers hawking these jars with different colored lids. 
Since these are new to the market, I would imagine by summer everyone and their mother will be selling them and you can find them really cheap. Another plus is these plastic jars are MADE IN THE USA. They are also BPA free. 

Bar Supplies

I also found HUGE plastic ball jars that hold a whopping 32 ounces. While I think these would be great for filling with ice and using for small backyard parties, I think that is way to much liquid to use for a wedding (there would probably be a lot of waste). They do sell 16 ounce Mason jars with handles under the Aladdin brand at Wal-Mart for around $7 a piece. I believe they sell these at Target too, but they are larger and $9.99 each. 

I do think if I hold out until summer there will be multiple manufacturers selling the handled jars as cheaply as the plastic jars without handles. As of today there are nearly 700 sellers on Etsy selling plastic mason jars. Some of them even sell in bulk. The prices now are about $1 more a piece than what I had anticipated on paying for the real glass jars at The WEBstaurant Supply Store - which adds $150 to my drink glass budget. They do at least have lids. I think if I hold out and can find a seller who has free shipping that would shave nearly $50 off the total cost. 

The Party Fairy - Etsy

Currently, The Party Fairy on Etsy has listings where you can buy 100 jars with lids in bulk. With shipping added on you get 100 jars for $186.75. $36.75 of that is shipping, so, they are basically $1.87 each. The nice thing about this vendor is they also sell paper straws, treat cups, and adorable labels for the jars if you want to purchase those as well. All their stuff is color coordinated too, so likely this can be a one stop shop for you. I am going to e-mail them and see if they offer deals on custom orders since I would need 150 jars with lids and straws that all match. The only drawback is I wish they had handles...