Engagement Pictures: Tips and more!

I am so beyond thrilled with how our engagement photos turned out! We had them taken on October 25th 2014. Surprisingly, it was about 75 degrees that day - which is extraordinarily warm for Indiana in late October. We were actually a bit over dressed for the weather (I was very hot and sweaty, there I said it). However the following Friday was Halloween and it SNOWED, so it just goes to show you how no one can "depend" on the weather. 

We hired our photographer all the way back in April of 2014. I had met her and her husband at a local bridal show my mother and I went to on a whim. Her personality and mine just clicked and I had a feeling she would be a great fit for us. I had already met with two previous photographers who just did not work out at all. I must admit I was a bit nervous about choosing a photographer because I did not want to pick someone who I felt was not on the same page as myself and my fiance. This was what led us to choose Krisandra Adams. I am not going to lie, I knew I was going to hire Krisandra from the moment I met her. She came across as fun, quirky, and confident. I also liked that she specialized in boudoir photography but did weddings as well. Why did this matter to me? The way I felt about it was if she was comfortable taking photographs of women in their most intimate state then I felt she could capture the honest emotion of our wedding. I also adore that her husband is her second wedding shooter and right hand assistant. 

Part of our wedding package included an engagement session. Deep down inside I wanted these engagement photos more than I can possibly describe. Prior to this photo session, every - single - picture of myself and my fiance together are of us in Halloween costumes or we are being silly. In other words, they are not pictures I can give to my family to have framed for the mantle. Our engagement session gave us 57 - yes 57 amazing pictures of the two of us being "us". 

I know a lot of couples like to have multiple wardrobe changes for their engagement, shoot but for us this made zero sense. I mean think about it; wouldn't you agree that it looks "off" when you see a couple very dressed up standing in the middle of a field? This does not happen naturally so it just ends up looking like you got lost on the way to dinner. We had a discussion of what "kinds" of photos we would want taken. I provided three options: We could do a really dressed up shoot but have them taken at the theater or a museum - something appropriate for "fancy" attire. We could go casual and have them taken at the park where we spend most of our time. Or, we could go 100% hockey fanatic and have pics taken at the ice rink ON the ice. We decided the park setting would best represent us and be the nicest setting for the photographs.

Given our choice of having the photos taken at Mounds Park we mutually decided to wear something we would normally wear if we went hiking. I told my fiance that I was going to wear jeans but it was NOT decided that we would both be wearing plaid shirts. This happened by chance and I am really glad it did. Wearing plaid allowed us to be "casual" without going too casual, but most importantly we did not look out of place in our natural setting. This was extremely important because as you can see, we were photographed standing in a wet area and sitting on rough surfaces - if I had been in a dress and heels we would have had many photo opportunities lost. Keep in mind your photographer might have you sit on wood or rocks or lean up against something rough like bricks, so make sure you are mindful not to wear something that will easily snag. You also might be asked to straddle something or lay on a bench which might be awkward if you are in a short skirt.

We did bring one change of shirts - we brought our personalized hockey jerseys. I asked my fiance if he wanted to do this for the sake of having save the date cards made - it would have both our names on it and be "cute". Well of course he was on board and already knew he was going to wear his Canadiens jersey...As it turned out we received several GREAT pictures of us in our jerseys even though it looked a bit "out of place" for the setting.

Aside from me taking off my vest for the last 10 or so pictures we did not complicate things by using props, changing clothes, or being in a setting where we would have to wait for the "right moment" to have a photograph taken. Given my experience I will offer a few tips for other brides to be to ponder if they are considering an engagement session.

1.) I think if it is offered, you should absolutely do an engagement session. It is not just about having pictures to give to family (even though that is always nice) it is about having that crucial "trial run" with your photographer so you can iron out any questions or concerns. It also gives you an idea of how you will look in pictures using the methods your photographer will choose - not all photographers use the same techniques or even editing styles. 

2.) It will be awkward. Having someone tell you to pose or be candid is weird - bottom line. Having someone tell you to "kiss and hold the pose" will make you laugh. We have several amazing pictures of us laughing at each other trying to look "lovey" while struggling to not to fall off slippery rocks into the creek below. That being said, just roll with it. Digital cameras allow photographers to take a zillion pictures so who cares if they get a couple of "duds" or funny faces.

3.) Wear clothing you are comfortable in and shoes conducive for the terrain. My fiance had mesh topped shoes on and his feet got wet when we took pictures near the water. My boots were leather - and yes my feet were a bit wet as well. However, that is much better than trying to walk across wet rocks in pumps and dress shoes. We also ended up walking about half of the main trail to "follow the sun" and get the best pictures. I feel like my feet would have been near death if I had worn heels. If it looks like it might rain, purchase an umbrella just in case. The same holds true for jackets and sweaters; if it is cold you don't necessarily need to look bundled up at all times. Take a coat that you can wear between location shoots. I had on a leather vest that had to come off by the end of the shoot because I was so hot.

4.) Take a hairbrush and your makeup kit with you. I did not do this and I really wish I had. My hair is naturally very thin and wispy. It was so humid that day my hair just went everywhere about half way through the shoot. Furthermore I started the shoot out wearing a pink lip gloss. It gave me the perfect amount of color without overdoing it. But again, half way through the shoot it had faded and I looked washed out n a few photos. This can of course be corrected with photo editing software, but I was bummed that I looked so pale in a few great pictures. I was very pleased that I splurged and used L'Oreal Face Primer for the first time. I did not have to mess with my foundation or anything the whole shoot and we were out in the woods for almost 2 hours. Just a little bit of that stuff went a long way and it really did give me a "flawless" finish. I also felt like powder set better as well. I would use the product again. 

5.) In speaking of makeup, be mindful of the colors you choose. I have dark brown eyes so I usually have some wild color of eyeshadow on - green, blue, purple, two sometimes three colors. Yea. I wore my "usual" bright green eyeshadow and damn, it is green. Just - so - green. After I saw the pictures I thought to myself that it looked really out of place because it was "too done". It would have been okay if I was in a black cocktail dress but not walking in the park. I should have gone with a shimmery champagne or light brown to "match" the setting. Like I said before, this was a great trial run for me and at least now I know for the wedding I will need to go neutral with the eye, use fake lashes for subtle drama instead, and go with a long lasting lip stain instead of a gloss. I would not have been aware of any of this if I had not seen it in my engagement pictures. My fiance obviously did not have this problem - he wore a blue shirt to match his blue eyes and he looks great in all the pictures :)

6.) Do not be afraid to suggest a pose or ask your photographer to take a picture of something specific if it means something to you. My fiance and I have a habit of patting each other on the rear and making a joke on how it "ranks" with other pats. So, I asked our photographer to take a picture of us with his hand on my bum. I love the picture because you can see my ring, and it is a cute pic without being too crass. 

7.) Do not rely on, fret about, or go overboard on props. I know right now props are very popular: The Mr. and Mrs. signs, the metal or wood "&" sign, balloons, various banners with dates, chalkboard anything, pennants, etc. It seems like every engagement picture I have seen in the last three years features some kind of prop. I too was initially on board with props but I changed my mind. I was dead set on having something with our wedding date on it but I decided against it just in case for some reason we would need to change the date of our wedding or something in the future. After all, we had our engagement photos taken almost a year before the wedding. Additionally, the props will change in style or go away all together in the future - they are a fad - and fads ultimately date photographs. The same holds true for "themed photo shoots" (Great Gatsby anyone?) so I wanted something more timeless. 

8.) Be prepared if something weird happens. You might be wondering what this could possibly entail. Well...when we were having our pictures taken down by the water a group of women must have thought we were celebrities. As we were leaning on a tree trying not to fall into the White River, a group of three women stopped on the trail, pulled out their phones, and began recording us and taking pictures. They stood there for almost 10 minutes. It was so bizarre the photographer commented that she has never had this happen before. I am not suggesting something like this is common but be prepared to be approached by animals, get pooped on by a bird, step in mud up to your calf, have to wait for people to move or pass to get a shot in a "high traffic area", have people ask you what you are doing, etc. 

9.) Most importantly, have fun! Even if you are nervous, feel awkward, or have never had professional pictures taken before do not let your insecurities get the best of you in photos because it will show if you do. This can be combated by possibly doing a trial run with your fiance at home in your living room to get an idea of how you can pose together, try to mimic a picture you found on Pinterest, and do not make any "major changes" or wear uncomfortable clothes. If you do not usually wear a lot of makeup, do not go overboard. I say this because you will worry about how it looks the whole time and ultimately you will not look like yourself if you never wear makeup otherwise. You do not want to be unrecognizable in your own engagement photographs! I would also suggest wearing something you already own and you know you look good wearing. You don't want to buy a new blouse only to find out after the fact you can see through it when it is photographed or buy a sweater and wear the wrong bra that ends up showing a bunch lumps you never knew existed.

Do Not Get Your Wedding Dress From Ali Express: A Horror Story

Okay so maybe it was not a true "horror story" but it was a MAJOR pain in the rear! The purpose of this post is not to bash any dealer, but to share my personal experience and drawn out issues with purchasing a dress from an Asian seller. In light of the funny news article about Angry Brides and their Discount Dress Messes, I thought this might be helpful to other brides looking to shave some cents off her bridal gown.

These above images are from an AliExpress dealer where my mother purchased her mother of the bride gown. She fell in love with the overall style and look of this gown for several reasons: It had sleeves, it had a lacy overlay, the color was neutral, it would be appropriate for fall, it was knee length, and it was "motherly" without being "grandmotherly". She showed me the dress online and with a price of $55, I thought it was worth a shot. She purchased the dress on October 9th, 2014. The reason she purchased it was because the seller boasted a hassle free return policy if the dress did not fit since it was not custom made. The size my mother ordered was a US SIZE 16 or an XXXL - She bought such a large size so she could have it altered to fit her perfectly...Now begins the long, drawn out affair with the dress...

As you can see when it arrived it was the wrong size on the tag - not even close. The tag reads it is a UK (United Kingdom) size 16 - which is a US (United States) size 12. Not only does this contradict the sizing chart provided on the purchase page but a secondary tag indicates this is an XL - which again according to their sizing chart would make this dress a US size 10. In short, this was not a US size 16 on the tag - NOR WAS IT EVEN REMOTELY CLOSE IN THE MEASUREMENT.

Just look at this. The waist circumference on the dress that arrived that was supposed to be a US size 16, measured less than 28 inches around. You can see that the liner is quite a bit smaller than the overlay, and I will also add the liner did not stretch at all. I wear a size 4 - A SIZE 4 and for comparison a size 4 Calvin Klein dress has a 28 inch waist.

As if the overall size was not an issue, one of the sleeves was 3/4 of an inch shorter than the other. And GOOD LORD LOOK AT THE HORRIBLE CONSTRUCTION!

What on earth is the deal with the PLEATS? In the original listing there are no pleats in the image provided. Why are these even here? They are not even done correctly; the overlay along with the cheap liner were gathered and sewn with the excess not removed and the pattern is totally disrupted.

The back is even worse than the front. Not only are the pleats repeated but they are CROOKED AND UNEVEN. I am going to also add that in person the color of this dress is not nude - it is actually very much pinkish taupe. It reminds me of a liquid cosmetic color in a bottle - that is slightly pink to match a "buff beige" skin tone. I think it is the liner that makes it appear this way.

Oh, and this dress was only about 32 1/2 inches long. On me (I am 5' 8" tall) it was at least 4 inches above my knee. As you can see, the bottom hem is uneven and all the ridiculous pleats pucker the overlay to the point where no amount of ironing or steaming will fix it.

Because of all of this - the fact that it was 6 dress sizes too small and beyond junky in construction, my mother decided to send the dress back. I will add that the dress was purchased on October 9th, 2014 and it did arrive about a week later. The above image is a copy of the confirmation e-mail my mother received noting the hassle free return. Well, On October 23, 2014 she mailed the dress back with this order slip enclosed. By Thanksgiving (a month later) my mother had not received her money back. Hum? Surely it would have arrived by then? I mailed the package (at a cost of almost $16) via First Class Mail International. My mother e-mailed the seller, who said they never got it and she was not getting a refund. Since I purchased the return label from USPS I called the USPS and spoke to a supervisor who said this kind of thing is happening ALL THE TIME. Yes, it is a SCAM. In my confusion I asked what he meant. Apparently, if you mail anything back to China and it is NOT IN A FLAT RATE BOX, the POSTAL TRACKING DOES NOT WORK. These Ali dealers KNOW THIS and they use the excuse "it got lost" to avoid accepting returns and issuing refunds.

Well, long story short my mother had to submit my proof of return shipment to Visa and in January, Visa refunded her the cost of the dress less the $16 I paid to ship it back. I was fine with this because at least she got her money back. BUT HERE IS THE KICKER...

On March 3rd, 2014 this mangled package was in my mother's mail box...IT IS THE SAME DRESS. Oh, and look. THE SELLER REFUSED TO CLAIM THE PARCEL. What happened in the world of international postal delivery is the seller was notified they had a returned package but they decided to not claim it. This is not the same as it being found "undeliverable". The return address is the same as what it was when it arrived to my mother - the seller just refused to accept the return. This is actually how I was able to give a detailed account of how bad this dress was and the subsequent ordeal.

As you can see, it went back to China and there is writing and stickers all over the exterior of the parcel. Note the date it was mailed out - and I got it back almost 5 months later.

 This looks like it was run over by a truck. The exterior paper I wrapped this in is Postal Grade craft style paper. I have used this for years for all my Ebay and Etsy sales and never had it get this chewed up. There were multiple holes and scrapes in the bag and if it were not for all the tape I used I am sure the entire parcel would have been destroyed and lost.

Note this large tear in the side. Luckily I had enough presence of mind and packing experience that not only did I fold and Ziplock the dress, I  then wrapped it in a secondary bag-style long plastic garment bag and taped it as well. So, now what I am left with is a dress I paid $16 in shipping for and to be honest, this is not even worth salvaging. I think I might try and take the horrid pleats out and turn this into a shift dress, but the sleeves and bottom need to be totally re-hemmed. Long story short, given this awful long, drawn out affair I would never order from an Ali seller again.